I Will No Longer Take You for Granted!

Last week Adrian, our devoted friend, father figure & devout disciple took his last breath with the promise that the organization that started it all and, in his words, "gave his life purpose", would not only continue our mission, but would now accomplish even greater feats than we ever had before.  I personally promised Adrian, during his final moments that we would do every thing from this point on in honor of him and would never give up.

Even on his death bed, Adrian did what he has always done best and brought this organization together to pray for a miracle and believe in our higher purpose again.  Each of the directors of this organization sat aside whatever we had going on in our lives and rushed to be by his side.

We each felt our own sense of guilt for the fact that one of our most faithful was suffering after years of having suffered enough.  It was a devastating realization that we never really had the chance to end his homelessness.  He'd been homeless all these years and here he was dying, still in the same condition he was in when we first encountered him; and even though he says we changed his life for the better, I can't help but wish we could have done more.  I can't help but feel a sense of defeat and failure in many ways.

Although Adrian is no longer with us in the flesh, there is a strong sense that he is watching over this organization and as we proceed with plans to come back strong, we feel he is still protecting us as he always did.  It is because of him we have returned to our cause.  He helped reignite the fire in our hearts that had never really went out but needed to be stirred up so that we could fight!

I guess I never realized how much I took for granted the life that Adrian gave The Homeless Tour.  He was one of those people, like so many in our lives, who I thought of as always being there and always will be.  Now that he's gone I realize how much I never would have imagined not having him there.  It's one of those things that really makes you think about how important the people around you are and so I wanted to take a moment to really focus on those people, particularly the ones who make this organization what it is.  Our directors.

Each of the directors of FTHT brings a different quality to the table, not only for the organization as a whole, but for me personally as well.  I honestly wouldn't be able to lead this organization without the vitality that each of them supply.

Robin Duvall, our Assistant Director, has been my back bone since she discovered this naive individual out there trying to change the world one heart at a time.  Unsure in her observation, she was puzzled because, as she says, she'd "never seen anyone with a heart like mine".  I guess her astonished perplexity became a curiosity that got the best of her because she's been the "big heart" of this organization since.

She monitored as I'd give everything down to the clothes off my back or shoes from my feet and she quickly recognized my weaknesses and took it upon herself to help me be strong in those areas.  When I was crying and beating myself up because I "just couldn't do enough", she was strong and told me how amazing, incredible, super, magnificent (and all those Robin words) that the things I was doing and who I am really were.  She's always helped me look at things realistically rather than worrying and she helps me find confidence where I feel incapable.

Robin loves people without thinking and she hugs everyone and tells EVERYONE she loves them just to make sure they know that someone does.  In many ways, she's been who I've looked up to for strength and I often wonder, "does she EVER get weak".  She's the epitome of a supermom if I've ever seen it.  She truly embodies what it means to "LOVE LIKE JESUS"

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Gail Christopher, another of my brilliant directors, has been there since I don't remember when.  Not only is she one of those people I could never imagine not being there, but I honestly don't remember what it was like before she was there.  It's as though she's just always been.

Gail is my joy and happy place.  It gets hard dealing with everyone's sadness and attempting to carry their burdens on my own shoulders, but Gail is always there to put a smile back on my face.  She gives me a chance to cry, vent, release, and all the things that are natural with this type of responsibility, and then she helps me shake it off and get back on track with a laugh and a refreshing look at the bright side that she always provides in any situation.  In the same way I wonder how Robin is always so strong, I wonder how in the world Gail can always be so happy.  I love her for the enthusiasm and optimism she brings into the darkest places we often visit.

She's my "the party doesn't start until she gets here" woman, and I've often found myself in a state of cluelessness as to what to do if she hasn't yet arrived on the scene.  She makes what can seem to me like an overwhelming circumstance feel like a walk in the park, so it happens often that I don't even want to move until I know she's there to make the journey more of a pleasant stroll than an obstacle course.

Catherine West is the sane one of us directors to say the least.  Catherine's heart is just as big as any of ours but I've often wondered how she manages to hold it all together with such poise and grace.  She's the one I call on to pray, not only because she's an incredible prayer warrior and woman of God, but sometimes it's because she seems to be the most composed when emotions run high.  So easily she seems to find the perfect words to say when everyone else is speechless.  Her prayers stem from a place of concern for all and yet her wisdom and discernment is like an instructional booklet giving her directions for exactly what to pray for.

Catherine is the one I can go to who I know will help me make sense of it all.  When I'm seeking direction, she'll give me just the confirmation I needed right on time and effortlessly as if she just had it tucked away somewhere in her back pocket waiting for me to ask for it.

While Robin will get me excited and motivated, Gail will keep me positive and believing in the possibilities as I go, Catherine will give me proof through scripture and a word from God as a steady reminder of His promise so I can't give up.  All three of these ladies are like the recipe God provided for me to handle the calling He has clearly placed on my life and I am forever grateful!

These are the few that have remained steadfast from the beginning and despite our individual trials and journeys, which Lord knows have come, have clearly not left this organization's side.  I am personally incomplete without these ladies and there would be no FTHT if it wasn't for them.

There are a lot more people who I owe the success of this organization to.  Many of them have come and gone.  Some have moved on with the next purpose God has for them, some allowed confusion that's bound to come into anything that is good to get in their way and make them feel divided from our organization, unable to see that we have not changed and still love them the same.  Whoever comes along, and for however long their season may be with us, they are now and will always be appreciated.

I will no longer take for granted each individual that makes up the whole of FTHT.  Each and every volunteer, donor, supporter, encourager... whatever your role is, was, or will be, you are loved and appreciated for the part you play in our lives and the life of our organization.

To find out how you can contribute to our organization's growth, email us at thehomelesstour@gmail.com or call (678) 709-8505!

Is There Blood on Your Hands?

There are certain people who enter our lives on occasion and impact it in ways we can never forget.  Adrian C. Stevenson is one of those people.  In fact, it's very likely that if you work, live, or have even walked in downtown Atlanta at any point, Adrian may have impacted your life in some way too.

He's always walking the city helping people; giving directions, sharing encouragement or a word from the Bible, and looking out for people less fortunate.  He became the "Chief of Security" for The Feed the Homeless Tour shortly after insisting on volunteering with us and maintaining order at each of our gatherings on a regular basis.

For years he's lead our prayers in Hurt Park, and while we'd feed the people physically, he'd begin to preach and feed their souls.  He often gave up his own umbrella to someone standing in the pouring rain... while all this time his backpack and it's contents being his only earthly possessions.

Adrian is homeless.

Right now he is laying in the hospital, recently removed from the life support that's kept him here the past three weeks and currently breathing on his own.  I only learned of this news late Sunday night after his distant cousin and the hospital nurses came together to hunt down the organization that Adrian was always raving about.  It was a miracle they found us after changes in numbers, our directors moving to various cities and states, the official headquarters in Tucker being torn down... Obviously God intended for them to find us so that we can be there by his side to support him as he's always done for us.

I write my blog this morning, instead of the usual Monday, only because after getting home late from visiting him I was physically and emotionally drained.  I know if he could speak to me right now he'd say the same thing he used to say every Monday when I used every ounce of my will power to ensure that hundreds of people in Hurt Park got fed and provided for no matter what.  Often times I was exhausted, struggling, broke... whatever it was that burdened me at the time, I'd fight through because my people depended on me and I couldn't let them down.  This blog is my Monday's at the moment so I felt the same way last night as I struggled through my tears and trembling to write no matter what.

As midnight quickly approached I could hear Adrian saying, "Stop crying. You know I can't stand to see my daughter cry."

Then as soon as I straightened up he'd say, "You need to get some rest.  This can wait until tomorrow.  You've got to take care of yourself."

My other directors of FTHT, Robin, Catherine, and Gail, would then agree and reprimand me the same, then they'd confiscate my laptop and force me to sleep because they know I'd continue to pressure myself to the point of physically debilitating exhaustion.  So last night I did exactly what Adrian would have wanted and rested so that I can write my blog this morning with vigor.

With all the information that has been revealed to me in just the last 24 hours, I have so much to say I'm having a hard time condensing it into just one blog.  Obviously I am distraught, as are the other directors of FTHT.  We hate seeing Adrian in this state when we are used to him being a joy and strength to all of us.  We want to believe in a miracle for him because that's exactly what he'd be preaching on right now if he was out there in the park.

"John 11:38-44 says...  Jesus, once more deeply moved, came to the tomb. It was a cave with a stone laid across the entrance.  “Take away the stone,” he said.  

“But, Lord,” said Martha, the sister of the dead man, “by this time there is a bad odor, for he has been there four days.”

Then Jesus said, “Did I not tell you that if you believe, you will see the glory of God?”

So they took away the stone. Then Jesus looked up and said, “Father, I thank you that you have heard me.  I knew that you always hear me, but I said this for the benefit of the people standing here, that they may believe that you sent me.”

When he had said this, Jesus called in a loud voice, “Lazarus, come out!”  The dead man came out, his hands and feet wrapped with strips of linen, and a cloth around his face.

Jesus said to them, “Take off the grave clothes and let him go.”"

This is what Adrian would proclaim without a shadow of a doubt as if this situation just took place yesterday and he was there.  It's always amazed me how he believed so surely, almost like he was an angel rather than a doubting human like the rest of us.  He is the reason our organization grew stronger and believed that even bigger, more impossible things were truly possible.  

He is the reason that every time we thought we didn't have enough food to feed the growing crowds, he would hold up the food and pray before we began distributing, "Father you multiplied the loaves and fishes to feed thousands so do the same here today!", again as if he just witnessed this the other day, and every single time we'd feed everyone and have plenty left over.  

Adrian was our miracle worker and now we wait in expectancy, trying to have at least "the faith of a mustard seed" but remembering that we are talking about a man who had the faith of 5 BILLION MUSTARD SEEDS!

 

Aside from the obvious hurt of seeing this great man at this low point in life, the thought that he has been there all this time alone is even more heartbreaking.  Once his distant cousin eventually got word of his condition, although she didn't know him very well, she chose to stay by his side.  His daughter received the news and, as is the case with many homeless men, wanted nothing to do with it.

We, The Feed the Homeless Tour, are probably his closest living relatives.  He always did call me his daughter and he is every bit a father to me.  For a man who has been such a blessing to so many lives, to be homeless and now, on what could very well be his death bed, to not be surrounded by tons of people who love him is mind boggling.

After the details were revealed to me of him being found alone on the street, soaked from sitting out in the rain for what may have been days... Not only having people pass him by time and time again but to add insult to injury, someone even had the audacity to take his wallet (which I know he always had on him along with his phone)... These gruesome details take me from being heartbroken to a new level of outrage toward my fellow human.

I've used this anger over the years at the fact that most people not only don't care about the homeless, but many even choose to ignore them, and I've let it fuel everything I've done from founding FTHT to my stage production "The Face of Homeless".  My objective, in addition to changing this outrageous situation in the world, has also been to raise awareness and hopefully cause people to look inside themselves and evaluate whether or not they too fall into this majority of the selfish, inconsiderate population in our country, and encourage them to change their hearts and begin to spread this revolution until everyone is affected and it can no longer be ignored.

To think that this ignored man who always had a smile and encouraging word could be literally walked over for days while he laid there dying absolutely disgusts me!  There are people downtown right now with blood on their hands who don't even realize it because they are so used to being oblivious to the needs of others!

On a more positive note, this situation has done one thing we can all be thankful for, and that is bringing our organization back together because of the love we all share for Adrian.

Over the past couple of years, as each of the directors has experienced their share of setbacks and life changes, we've struggled to keep what's left of our mission afloat, focusing more on the stage production and spreading the word through our various gifts and talents in hopes that funding would ensue as a result so that we could REALLY help the people in ways we weren't able to before.

Despite no longer being able to make the commitment to Hurt Park every Monday, we've kept the dream alive and focused on this bigger purpose, determined to take a wiser approach.  We've advisedly taken a step back to reevaluate, and begin laying a new, firmer foundation to accomplish what we had originally set out to do.

Inevitably I'm consumed by guilt for not being there for Adrian and the rest of my people out there as I had promised.  I told them once that death was the only thing that could keep me from coming back, and here I am well alive yet unable to keep that promise at the moment.  Especially during this trying time, I feel like I've let them down... I've let Adrian down.

I know he wouldn't want me to take any of the blame as I customarily do.  He'd know I haven't forgotten where we are going and what we're going to accomplish in this arena.  He'd encourage me to focus on what must be done and keep pressing forward until I'm able to create a more significant change for the people.  He'd encourage me never to give up on the vision.

Although our flame has never went out, coming together for Adrian the way we have and hearing about how FTHT gave his life purpose, how we are his family... Seeing someone who they said was unresponsive make eye contact with me, begin breathing heavier, and a tear roll down his face... this just doused our flame with lighter fluid and we can each feel it spreading like a wildfire!

I can't even begin to explain to you the things we're about to accomplish because of Adrian once again bringing us all together and inspiring us as he always has... I can only say, watch and see!  As much as FTHT was able to accomplish in the past, even without having much ourselves... I'll just say this...

You ain't seen nothing yet!

    

Please continue to pray for Adrian!  Despite what it may look like, we believe in the God who Adrian preached about... He's a miracle worker & He's working one RIGHT NOW!  #Pray4Adrian #RiseUp



UPDATE:  

ADRIAN CALVIN STEVENSON went to be with our Father in Heaven on Wednesday 3/22/2017.  He is no longer homeless or hurting!  Adrian deserves to have his life celebrated!  So please, stay tuned for further details of the events that will be held in his honor & share this blog so that everyone who knows him can make arrangements to be a part of his homegoing celebration!

Viewing & Visitation, 6-8pm Wednesday March 29th 2017 

MURRAY BROTHERS FUNERAL HOME CASCADE CHAPEL 

1199 UTOY SPRINGS RD, SW 

ATLANTA, GA 30331 

Telephone (404) 349-3000 

Burial Ceremony, Thursday March 30th, 2017 @ 10am 

LAKESIDE MEMORIAL GARDENS

7780 ONO RD.

PALMETTO, GA 30268

"CELEBRATION OF LIFE"

We hope that everyone, especially those who could not make it to the previous services for Adrian, make plans to attend this event!  (See flyer for details)

We are currently seeking artists who would like to perform at this event.

Also if any of you would like to help with the planning of this event, or contribute in some way, please email us at thehomelesstour@gmail.com or call 678-709-8505!

You can also make a financial contribution by clicking the link below.

Funds will be used for obituaries, a headstone & the Celebration of Life event.
Thank you in advance!

God Loves a CHEERFUL Giver... Not a Stupid One!

2 Corinthians 9:6-7English Standard Version (ESV) The Cheerful Giver

6 The point is this: whoever sows sparingly will also reap sparingly, and whoever sows bountifully will also reap bountifully. 7 Each one must give as he has decided in his heart, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver.

We've all heard it said before, even if you've never read the Bible, you may have heard mention of this "cheerful giver" verse in children's stories or random quotes. When I was younger I used to repeat it to myself every time I gave away something that meant anything to me, which happened quite often as I'm sure you can imagine if you know me.

Sometimes I wasn't too happy about giving, only because I knew I wanted what it was I was giving for myself. I thought that being a cheerful giver meant being happy about giving up something instead of pouting about it. I thought it was sacrifice without complaining. I later realized that being happy, or pretending to be, was not what defined being a cheerful giver--at least not beyond the point of sharing your lunch in the cafeteria at school with someone who forgot theirs.

As we grow older, the needs of those around us begin to change, as do our own responsibilities, such as bills, taking care of your family, maintaining a job, etc. At one point your biggest problem was whether or not Jacob liked you, now you've got much bigger things to think about and you laugh at what used to be important.

Going through being homeless definitely put my problems into perspective, among the many other things the situation taught me. Losing everything doesn't just make you realize what's really important, but it also helps you realize what changes you need to make in order to be in a better position.

You see, one of my biggest weaknesses is that I've always had a tendency to give too much and often to the wrong people. It is that tendency that kept me in a broken state for so long. I realized through my own experience being homeless, that although God wants us to give, he doesn't want us to be stupid. The Bible speaks very often, in fact, about discernment and wisdom.

Here I was, thinking I was making the ultimate sacrifice by continuing to give even when it meant my own family went without. Often times I was being taken advantage of by the same people who I later realized wouldn't be there for me when I needed them the most.

I had to grow wise and learn how to give, not just cheerfully, but carefully. Over time I figured out more ways to give than just food and clothing. I began to give of my time by helping to find resources that could aid other homeless people even further. I began to think more long term rather than what I can physically give from what I own at the moment, which at the time was not much. In other words, I began to teach people to fish so that they could continue to feed themselves rather than just giving them some fish to last for a moment.

Matthew 7:6  New King James Version (NKJV)

6 “Do not give what is holy to the dogs; nor cast your pearls before swine, lest they trample them under their feet, and turn and tear you in pieces.

I'm always encouraging others to give back, just as the Bible does... but in this post I wanted to go even further to encourage people to give wisely. It's okay to say no or to point someone in the direction of assistance without feeling like you've failed as a cheerful giver. Sometimes you may give of your time rather than money, and that's okay too.

Also the Bible says to guard your heart. If you're like me, always giving of yourself from the heart, then you've likely been taken advantage of, abused, and taken for granted. This is where the importance of guarding your heart comes into play. You can still be nice to people and recognize when you're dealing with a leech who will only break your spirit rather than show gratitude for your willingness to give.

This repetitive circumstance can often discourage a cheerful giver from ever wanting to give again. You don't want this to happen, and that's why it's so important that you find a healthy balance. As a kind hearted person the last thing you want to do is be driven to coldness.

So I encourage you to give wisely each day. Pray for discernment and wisdom when considering what to give, how much, and to whom. Don't be taken advantage of or have your heart trampled. Don't sacrifice your health or the well being of your family and/or lively hood because you feel it is "the right thing to do".

God made us each in HIS OWN IMAGE, with minds to think and understand as He leads, guides, and directs our paths. So use your best judgement and God will continue to make provision as you follow.

Someone Is Always Watching!

Last night I had the privilege of attending an award show in which I had been nominated for the prestigious ACHI Magazine Award.  It was such an honor to be recognized for the various efforts I have put forth in my community over the years and to know that I had impacted the life of my peers, so much so that someone felt I deserved such acknowledgment.

When Dr. Juanita Fletcher first reached out to me to inform me of my nomination, it was during a time in my life in which I was focused on nothing else but caring for my newborn baby.  I'd recently endured child birth and getting back to work in the industry was the furthest from my mind.  The stress from a difficult labor on top of the new expenses and lack of gigs to pay them was weighing heavy on me.  Naturally my first thought when I got the memo was that I wasn't going to be able to accept it.  There was just way too much going on in my life.

Click the Photo for More Pics from the Event

After giving it much thought and researching to see exactly what this a magazine and it's award was all about, I found myself questioning how I even came to be nominated in the first place.  You see, I had this misconception about whether or not I was truly deserving of being celebrated for my many accomplishments.  Maybe I could blame some of it on postpartum emotions, but for the most part, I felt as though I had not accomplished much at all lately.

Most of my time had been spent in a constant miserable state of pain over the past few months and now there's this new person for me to care for--all I could do is think about what I'd like to be doing with my organization and my acting career.  I spent most of my time just wishing and brainstorming about a future that was slowly beginning to feel like less of a reality.  Aside from holding on to the hope of getting back into the swing of things one day, I felt as though I had nothing.

  

Have you ever felt as though people think much more highly of you than you even see yourself?

Do you ever feel like you aren't doing enough, or that because you are not doing as much as you know you could, you won't ever make it to where you know you're supposed to go?  That's the feeling you get when you aren't walking in your destiny.

When storms are raging or we find ourselves at a stagnant place in life, it's so easy to begin to lose hope and start to believe that what you were once sure would be your future may no longer be possible.  This is especially true for mothers.  How often we give up on our dreams because the thought of accomplishing very much while maintaining your motherhood seems out of reach. Yet every day mothers of all ages are accomplishing this impossible assignment.

This negative thought process continued for me for quite some time and I hadn't even fathomed accepting the nomination until it was just about too late to do so.  In fact, by the time I'd completely made up my mind to go to the award show, I only had a few hours to compose myself for the red carpet.

Thanks to the encouragement of my two closest friends who reminded me that even though I didn't feel deserving, SOMEONE thought I was, I picked myself up from my pity party and made my way to Porter Sanford to be recognized as a nominee.

This was one of those moments when you must force yourself to do something you don't feel like doing because you KNOW it's going to be what's best for you and you'll regret it if you don't.

I didn't even realize how much I needed to be there!

For the past week or so, I've been praying and learning about the importance of self care.  People like me, and especially moms, often take care of everyone around them but themselves.  They get burnt out, used and abused but still make sure enough of them is held together in order to tend to their children, husbands, etc.  Rarely ever are they recognized or awarded for this impossible feat.

To be surrounded by women who were also being acknowledged, and realizing through their acceptance speeches that so many of them were also hurting, struggling, and pressing forward against all odds, I felt an overwhelming since of "we are in this together"... I knew that I was not alone and I began to feel stronger because of it.

In much the same way that I was so inspired by all of these other beautiful women, I had to think about the fact that I too had inspired someone else, which is what had brought me there in the first place.

Being in the presence of these incredible entrepreneurs, moms, talent, business owners, founders and so much more, had given me just the boost that I needed to take the visions I've been cultivating in my soul these past few painstaking months and begin to move forward in action and insist that they come to pass.

To know that I too have an impact on other women in such a way as I was inspired on this night is extremely eye-opening.  It's a realization that someone is always watching and even when you feel as though you're not doing enough, you may be making more of an impact than you realize!

So I wanted to take a moment to shine a spotlight on Dr. Juanita Fletcher and her two beautiful daughters who are going above and beyond to inspire and encourage women every where to never give up.  Through their organization, Women Supporting Women, they are empowering a new generation of strong and powerful women who are changing the world.

I am a proud supporter of this organization and their efforts, and I hope to work with them more in the near future to possibly combine our efforts for an even bigger impact.

Be sure to check out their site and show your support as well.  Find out how you can get involved and look out for this award tour coming to a city near you!

www.WSWassociation.com
www.ACHImagazine.com