After the Storm

In light of recent repeat occurrences of hurricanes, I thought it only appropriate to make my blog about storms tonight.  More specifically the storms that we all experience, on a regular basis, no matter where we live.

I'm talking about the storms that come and threaten to take more than your home and belongings, but your sanity, dignity, and maybe even your life.


As I sit here in North Georgia listening to the winds of Irma beating my house, wondering how we're even having this problem when we're not even near the ocean, I can't help but think about the storms I have experienced; past and present.

Like natural disasters, the storms that come into our lives can be minor, or so big they last longer or impact more people around you than you'd anticipated they would.

The storms can often be seen coming so that we can better prepare.  We can try to anticipate the damage, how long they'll last...  We can prepare by buying food, batteries, flashlights...  We can board up the windows then get into our basements with plans to ride it out.

What's interesting is that when you see the storm coming you only have two options, either you evacuate or you ride it out.  Storms don't really give us much of a buffet of choices.  Often our personalities, determination, or how we feel about our possessions we'd be leaving behind are what determine whether or not we ride it out or run.  Neither option is really the right or wrong one, but there's only two and when that storm is on the way, it gives you no choice but to choose one--and you'd better choose quick.

Just like our own personal storms, there are so many types--tornadoes, hurricanes, earthquakes, tropical storms, tsunamis...  Countless storms and natural disasters just like the ones that can come into your life like a whirlwind just when the sun seems to be shining so brightly on you.

The one thing that all of these storms have in common is that THEY DO NOT LAST.  When was the last time you've seen a never ending hurricane or an endless twister?  Yes, some may last longer than others and some feel like they'll never end... but eventually they all do.  It is this knowledge that helps us to cope through each of life's storms and somehow come out stronger after each one is over.

After the storm we tend to band together, helping one another, rebuilding, starting new.  In most cases it is almost refreshing.  Most importantly, life goes on.  There is life after the storm.

So whether you're dealing with some really crazy storms in your life right now, or you're literally battling an act of nature, the most important thing to remember is that this too shall pass.

Once you get through this part that seems impossible to see beyond--the pain, the turmoil, the devastation... it will end.  The sun will shine again.  And perhaps you'll learn a thing or two; maybe be better prepared for whatever life throws at you next.  The fact is, you can look forward to an end eventually.  So stay strong and know your sun will shine again... after the storm.

2017 ECLIPSE: What's Blocking Your Sun?

Today is a day that will forever go down in history for many of us.  When our kids are older, they'll probably remember exactly what they were doing for the Solar Eclipse in 2017.  The reality of this thought is what caused me to make the last minute decision to check my kids out of school and drive North were we'd be right in the path of the total lunar eclipse... a once in a lifetime event!

Even though it took only an hour to get there but about 3-4 hours to get back--because everyone else had the same plan apparently--it was well worth the journey.  I'll never forget that experience with my children and I'm sure they never will either.

On the drive home I passed a sign that said, "What's blocking the sun in your life?"

Like many I was already in deep thought since I'd just witnessed an astonishing phenomenon, but seeing that sign took me even deeper.

If you've been following me on social media, you've probably noticed that I've been living my life to the fullest lately, even more than I previously had.  In just the past week I've flown for the first time on a plane, visited "Ripley's Believe It Or Not" in Orlando, climbed mountains and hiked with my boys through Talullah Gorge where I also slid down sliding rock into the deep lake below, and camped in the wilderness at Camp Rainey Mountain.

Don't worry, I haven't been diagnosed with a life threatening ailment... I've simply come to the conclusion that life is much too short to be living for anything other than... well... LIFE!

Every moment I get to make memories with my family; try things I've never tried; experience, see, and learn all there is to discover on this beautiful earth is a moment I don't want to take for granted and the more I practice this lifestyle, the more I couldn't imagine it any other way!

The concept of living life to the fullest has likely crossed your mind on a regular basis but so few of us actually begin to walk in this notion.  So the question is, what is stoping you from shining as the bright star you were created to be?  Is there something or someone standing in your way?

If you wake up each day simply to go to work, make money to take care of your bills, eat, sleep, then do it all again, you are likely experiencing some sort of blockage.  Unless of course you just love getting up and working hard all day to make ends meet, pay taxes, and pay for a house you barely have time to live in.

Now I know what you're thinking, "I have to work!  Bills have to be paid!".... and that's all well and true... BUT, have you ever thought about consolidating your bills so that you aren't working so hard living paycheck to paycheck?  Are there things you can live without?  Is there some way to make that thing you REALLY love to do the same thing that pays the bills?  Even if it isn't paying much at first, are there some ways you can downsize until it's making more than enough?

I know that minimalistic living isn't for everyone but have you ever thought about how much more time you could spend with the people you love, or doing the things you love to do, if you didn't have so much stuff or need so much money to pay for it?  If you didn't have that fancy car or furniture you're still paying off, what would you do with the extra cash?

Remember this... no one has ever come to the end of their life and thought, "Man I sure wish I had made more money or had more things!"

So why not start now thinking about the things you wish you had more time for and start making more time for them... even if that means making more time for yourself.  As they say, where there is a will there is a way!  So just do it... start today!  (Promise I did not mean to rhyme there.)

You must move whatever it is that's stoping you from shining!  Whether it is your own fear, your past, or even someone you love holding you back, you've got to decide what's most important and live your life shining despite any setbacks!  Don't get to the end of your life and realize you never really lived!  Start living today because each amazing moment of your life only happens once and then it's gone!

Until next time!

~ Vitelle

You Can't Save Them All

Tonight I'm writing about a harsh reality that has taken me years to come to grips with, and honestly sometimes I still don't want to admit it.

I'm being reminded of this fact as I sit here watching one of my favorite Netflix shows, The 100.  I love this show for so many reasons but the main one is simply because it is the greatest representation of human nature that I've ever seen.

As humans, our need to survive, willingness to do whatever it takes for our families, eagerness to want to do what's right, and frailty in the face of unavoidable decisions that must be made throughout our lives, we are all bound to make mistakes, have regrets, win some and lose some.--Tis the journey of our existence.

For the most part we try to do the right thing and in most cases, even when not everyone agrees, we make our decisions based on what we think will turn out best for ourselves, our loved ones, and if the circumstance allows, the majority of all people.  Regardless of who we are or where we come from, we are all wired to survive.

Many of us on the other hand are wired with something a little more than just our own natural survival instincts.  Some of us are consistently insistent on saving everyone else even if it means sacrificing their own well being.  Those of us, myself included, who suffer from this need to help, heal, change, set in motion actions that can change the world often have a hard time facing the fact when the instance arises in which there's "nothing more they can do".

I say "suffer from" because some of us can't sleep at night from the constant knowledge of there being people who need us.  I speak for myself when I say, I can't rest in my comfortable bed when I know someone else is huddled under a bridge with their children.  It's hard for people like us to come to grips that this is reality and there is literally no way to change this for everyone.  Yet we still strive each day and do our best to at least change it for as many as we can.

The unhealthy fact is that if we let our need to save consume us, being that there will always be so many who need saving in this world, we can lose our own health, minds, and happiness in the process.  I've let myself get to this point too many times before I realize that if I'm out of commission because I've literally burned myself out, who can I help at that point?

You've heard me say so many times that you must put the mask on yourself first in order to help anyone else.  Let me also add that once you've done this, you can only help as many as you can help.  The goal is to always do your best, never give up, and when the journey is over, don't live with regrets for the ones you couldn't save, be at peace with the fact that you did everything you could do and likely set into motion for others to follow in your footsteps, aiding millions more because of what you started.

Another matter of fact--you can't save someone who doesn't want to be saved.  In the charitable world, especially dealing with homeless individuals, there are many who simply do not want your help.  Some of them don't even know why.  Perhaps bitterness?  Pain?  Whatever the cause, if you're like me, you can become so obsessed with helping that one person who continues to refuse your help that you miss out on all the ones you could have helped in the meanwhile.

So two facts I consistently repeat to myself so that I can rest assured I've done all that I can do each day...

1.  You can't save them all.  Just do your best.

2.  You can't save anyone who doesn't want to be saved.

When you come to grips with these two truths, you will gain peace of mind to continue on your heroic life journey knowing that you are performing at your maximum ability to aid as many as you are able.  You are serving the purpose you where put on this earth for--the one that pulls at your heart daily.  The rest, you must understand, can only be left in the more capable hands of God.

Peace to you my friends!  Until next time! XOXOX

What To Do During Difficult Times

It's been difficult to write every single Monday because life has been so hectic and stressful lately.

I just wanted to take a moment to encourage those of you who may be going through a difficult time or have difficult decisions to make.  One thing that has helped me recently is meditation.  I've often prayed through my struggles but sometimes you reach a breaking point in which you're just too weak to even find the words to ask for help.  Or other times you have no idea what to even ask for--you're unsure what you really want or need.

A friend of mine told me about this app called "Insight Timer".  You can download it on your phone in the app store.  It's a great way to practice meditation and has really helped me through those times when I'm just too broken to find the words or strength to pray.  I can relax my body and mind and just focus on positive energy and affirmations to begin to change all the negative energy around me.

As a matter of fact, I'm about to wrap this blog up and go meditate right this moment.  We don't always know what we want or even what we need but I'd like to think that health, joy, peace, love, happiness... these things should be at the top of our list no matter who we are.  These things are what I focus and meditate on when everything else is unstable and unsure.  Focus on the good things and surely everything else will fall into place.

I've got a lot of projects in the works that I hope to bring to you real soon.  In the meantime thank you for continuing to support my endeavors.  I wish you all peace, love, joy and happiness!

XOXOX

Don't Fall Into This Trap...

I literally just completely started tonight's blog all over because as I was writing about "Taking Care of YOU" I got thrown all the way off track... Distracted as is usually the case when I'm trying to blog, so now my blog is going to be about DISTRACTIONS.

I already missed last Monday between traveling, family, photoshoots & the usual chaos, so I refuse to not write anything today... Which by the time you read this will be Tuesday.  Better late than never.

I've had so many people tell me how reading my blogs have helped them, or how they look forward to my blogs, so I feel even more obligated to come through on a good, relatable topic that could possibly make someone's day or week.

We all experience distractions, especially during a time that we are trying to focus on something we know deep down in our hearts we need to do.  Many people call this "our calling".  Whatever title you choose to give it, it never fails that life's obstacles can begin to get in the way of you accomplishing that which you have set out to complete.

Sometimes it may not be a negative distraction but rather a distraction of something you like... Say for instance when your favorite movie comes on and completely distracts you from what you know you were supposed to be doing then you end up not doing it at all.

Distractions can come in all forms and either be life changing, traumatizing, or even pleasing.  The trick is being able to recognize when you are being distracted and working hard to not get too far off track.

Whether it's as simple of a distraction as your favorite song playing on the radio or as serious and painful as a death in the family, knowing that these tactics are often used to throw you off course should help you get back on track as quickly as possible.  The problem is, depending on the type of distraction, many people choose to give up.  Especially if they happen to experience multiple distractions and eventually reach a breaking point.

There were many times during my own journey through homelessness that I was distracted to the point of almost throwing in the towel.  Losing my apartment, source of income and having to make the tough decision to live in my car with my children was the biggest distraction ever.  Yet instead of letting it cause me to give up, I used it as fuel to drive the calling that I know I have on my life.  I allowed my distracting circumstance to make me stronger and even though it may have seemed to set me back a period of time, I still looked at it as a growth process along my journey.

See how even something meant to distract you can turn out to be a tremendous asset to your calling if you choose to press forward through it?  It is easier said than done but I know if I could do it with that situation then you can handle it too.

What is your calling?  What are some things God is using you for?  Just like my blog and how me writing it helps so many people, the enemy often tries to prevent me from even writing it in the first place.  Instead of not writing at all, I used the circumstance to fuel my topic for the evening, and who knows, this may have been exactly what someone needed to hear.

Distractions happen to us all and often when we least expect it.  So I say to you my friend, stay on guard of your life's purpose and don't let anything or anyone distract you from your destiny.

Until next time loves!  XOXOX

Do What YOU Love!

I didn't get around to posting on Monday this week because I've been on set for the last few days working 15-18 hours a day on the new movie TAG starring Isla Fisher, Jeremy Renner, Ed Helms & Leslie Bibb.  I'm sitting on set right now taking it all in.

This is my first time back on a major motion picture since I had my baby and there's a million things going on in my mind I want to share with you... but I suppose for the sake of time I better pick one so I can get back to work.

I was just sitting here enjoying just being in the presence of what I love.  When something is your passion, it doesn't matter who else likes it or understands it, it's yours and you just couldn't imagine yourself without it.  After being on a maternity hiatus for a while, I'm just so happy to be getting back in the swing of things and basking in the presence of the chaos that is #setlife.  I had forgotten how much I needed this.

Sadly, not everyone becomes an entertainer because they feel the way that I do about the industry itself.  In fact, most people become entertainers for two reasons.

THE FAME & THE FORTUNE.

What's ironic is that neither of those is usually accomplished by most aspiring actors and artists yet they keep striving in hopes to soon own a mansion on a hill or have people running up asking for their autographs and making them feel more important than they are.

Personally I don't believe in doing anything for money or social status but rather because it is what you absolutely love to do.  If you don't love it, you can manage to have all the money and popularity in the world and never truly be happy.  Your happiness won't come from owning things or maintaining a social status.

I just want to encourage you all that whatever you do, do something you love.  What is it that wakes you up each morning?  What job would you go out and do every day even if it didn't pay or even if you never got credit for doing it?

If your goals are solely money and power you will end up unhappy and feeling like you've failed in life.  You'll never get that feeling of success because the thing you use to measure your success is not what's in your heart, but what's in your wallet.  The feeling of completion is not something that is tangible or anything that money can buy.

Your job shouldn't feel like a job but a privilege and an honor.  I'm so honored to be here on set today!  My role is that of Susan's (Leslie Bibb) friend and Bridesmaid in her wedding party.  It's not a big role.  I don't even have a name... just "Susan's friend".  But the way I feel inside just partaking in what brings me joy, you would think I'd landed the lead role in the movie of the century!  I'm that elated to be doing what I love.

How many of you can say that about your jobs?  If you can't, it may be time to reevaluate where you are and start today really following your heart.  Life is too short to just work for a paycheck and be miserable.  Find what brings you joy and go after it, whatever it may be.

Until next time friends!  Have a blessed week!

Silence is a Virtue

“Be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry.” 

James 1:19 (NLT)

That scripture pretty much says it all.  There really isn't any need for me to write a full length blog because I honestly couldn't have said it better than the Bible itself. 

This message is something that's been on my mind for quite some time now and I've been focusing my energies on helping my children understand this concept as well.  It's my hope that I'm able to teach them some things now that many adults haven't fully grasped yet so that by the time they're older, hopefully things will be a little less of a struggle for them.

I'm being honest when I say that although I've known this scripture since my youth, I've just recently learned how to obey it, and am still perfecting the craft.

God knew how important it was that this message be a part of his instructions as I'm sure he knows how difficult it can be for the human race to listen to others, know when to be quiet, and control their tempers.

I admit that on a daily basis I've probably failed at at least one, if not more, of these simple tasks.  However, over the last couple of weeks I have made it a primary focus to get in a habit of all of the above and I have found that the most important of the three is also the hardest... being able to keep your mouth shut.

In these past few weeks, I have proven to myself that if you are wise enough to know when to be quiet, all the other requirements will fall into place.  For example, if you are quiet and don't respond to someone who is arguing with you, it is much harder to get angry or for that feeling to escalate as it would if you decided to participate with your own verbal abuse in return.  And naturally, if you are not speaking, you're going to be more inclined to listen.

Not only are we humans inclined to always have to say something, defend ourselves, share our opinions, etc. but I believe that it has become a misconception that the quiet person is the weak person, especially when it comes to matters of speaking up in order to defend yourself.  This is a misconception that has been planted in us since childhood when we were often told to "speak up for yourself" as if we were failures when we did not.

As an adult, it's important to realize that quiet doesn't mean weak at all.  On the contrary, it actually shows great strength and wisdom.  It's not easy to choose your words wisely, pick and choose your battles, listen rather than being heard.  Everyone wants to be heard.  

You may be reading this and thinking that this small set of instructions is foolish but I challenge you to go until next week actually following them.  The next time someone cuts you off, accuses you of something you didn't do, gossips about you or even yells at you, rather than responding with your usual words, try just smiling and thinking what you want to say instead.  If you must speak, say something positive rather than what you may actually be feeling that way you fuel the peace and positivity rather than the anger.

You could even try writing in a journal so that you feel like you're getting it out and gain some relief but still you remain silent.  Or simply take time to get away and go talk to God about it.  He's the only one who truly understands what you're feeling at the time anyway so why bother trying to explain yourself to anyone else.  

It's going to take some practice but I think eventually, if you can master these characteristics, you'll see how much more peaceful and joyful your life will become despite anything that may come on any given day.  Besides, being quiet and listening is the best way to hear direction from God, which is what most of us are seeking from one day to the next.  

I wish you much success should you choose to accept this challenge.  I am on this journey with you and I'd love to hear more about yours.  If you have any tips or advise you'd like to share with others to make it easier, any word of encouragement, please leave a comment or shoot me an email.  I'd love to hear from you!

Until next Monday... XOXOX