Put the Mask on Yourself First!

Last week I posted about why Monday's are so important to me and how my organization, "The Feed the Homeless Tour" fed hundreds of homeless people every single Monday rain or shine for several years.

So you're probably wondering now...

WHAT HAPPENED TO MONDAYS?

Well, there's an explanation as well as a lesson to be learned here.

As you already know, if you've kept up with my journey, during the time my family was able to do the most for others, we happened to be homeless ourselves.  No one knew at the time that we lived in our car, and no one would have ever assumed, since we did so much to help other people.

Sadly, the few people I did confide in with this personal information ended up abandoning me.  One chose to no longer be my friend, some assumed we "chose" to be homeless and they criticized me for their ignorant assumptions.

For whatever their reasons, I learned the hard way that our circumstance was best kept a secret.

Let me state for the record that we NEVER chose to be homeless!

There were times when we could have stayed in a shelter, but like many homeless families, we chose not to be separated, with dad in one shelter and mom and the kids in a completely different unsafe place clear across town.

There were times when friends would offer that we stay with them.  Unfortunately, my husband's pride would not allow this and I had to decline the offer being someone eager to please God by obeying my husband's wishes.

At the end of the day, no matter how many options we were faced with, based on our personal circumstances (everyone's are different), living in our car together was really our best and only option at the time, so that's what we ended up doing, for lack of more appealing choices.

We had everything we needed, really.  We had food, clothing, and although it wasn't an ideal or comfortable place, we had a place to lay our heads.  That was much more than we could say for many other homeless people, and therefore we were grateful despite our lack of a permanent housing structure.

So as I mentioned in my previous post, helping other people even less fortunate than us, who didn't even have a car to sleep in, became what got me through each day.

There's a rule of thumb that you may have heard if you've ever flown in a plane. Your flight attendant will announce before take off... be sure, in the event of an emergency, that you put the oxygen mask on yourself first before helping others who may need your assistance.

This was a completely foreign concept to me when I first heard it.  Not only have I never flown, but my natural instinct in the event of an emergency is to help everyone else first.  How could I possibly be so selfish?
 
It was a sermon at church that introduced me to this concept and once he explained why, it was like a revelation for me.  I knew that God was telling me that my vision for what I'd like my organization to become could never come to pass if I "kill myself" trying to make it happen.  I HAD TO PUT THE OXYGEN MASK ON MYSELF.

This message came to me at a point in time when it had become a daily struggle to continue with our feedings, collect donations each week, answer the phone constantly for all the people who now had my number to call for help.

As much as I loved helping people, it was becoming more of a burden than I could bare and I was no closer to having my own family housed than the day we started.  In fact, it was becoming even harder to provide for my own family because the longer we stayed homeless, the more I accepted it as my reality and the less I aspired to be and do something greater, which was what brought me to Atlanta in the first place.

I became aware of the fact that I would stay stuck in this place of poverty if I continued to operate this way.  Not only that, but my health began to deteriorate, my marriage fell apart, and I worried that my children would suffer long term if I didn't establish some stability for them soon.  That's when I realized, it was time for me to put on the oxygen mask.

As hard as it was for me to do, I decided to focus on self and home first.  I set a goal, and still maintain my mission to this day, that we will have hundreds of "FTHT Buildings" across the country that do everything we did for the homeless out in the parks on Mondays.

Our facilities will not only house people, but also provide them with food, clothing, hygiene items, job search assistance, training, and so much more.  It will be a "one stop shop" for everything someone needs to get out of homelessness--but in order for me to make it happen, I must first get myself to a place financially in which this vision is a very realistic and current possibility.

Maybe you are like I was and currently find yourself struggling to make something you know God has called you to do happen, but you seem to be beating yourself against a wall because every time you accomplish one thing, two more things fail.  Perhaps it is time for you to ask yourself, "are you putting the mask on yourself first"?

If your goal is to do something great that will benefit those around you, you have to realize, just as I did, that you cannot help anyone until your own home, life, finances, etc. are in order.  Then, not only will you be established and better equipped to accomplish what it is you were called to do, but you will be much more effective in doing so without the sacrifice of your own mental and physical health and well being.  How can you help anyone if you're dead after all?  You will do more, go further, and make a bigger impact once you yourself can breathe.

We at "The Feed the Homeless Tour" are building from the ground up and this time we are laying a firm foundation that will not be able to be shaken or destroyed.  We will make a bigger impact and end homelessness for more families than we could have ever imagined.

And we will still do it, as our motto says, "One State & One Heart at a Time"... but this time we will start at home and soon we will change the world!


For more information on how you can be a part of the movement...
Email us at thehomelesstour@gmail.com.

Why I Blog on Mondays... "Rain or Shine"

If you've followed my organization, "The Feed the Homeless Tour" for a while, you probably already know the significance of Mondays.  If not, allow me to give you some background.

In 2011, shortly after relocating to Georgia, I decided to make everything I did with the homeless, (giving food, job referrals, hygiene items, helping find housing, etc.) an official organization. Back in Kentucky, I had done some volunteering and helping random homeless people, so naturally, once I became familiar with the city, I started doing what I could for people in Atlanta whenever I had the opportunity.

Eventually people started wanting to help and they became volunteers. I can't really say how we went from that to an official 501c3 with a business license to do what we had been doing for years; I can say it wasn't easy to get to that point. So many people would suggest it to me, it seemed like the way to go. Plus it made since that more people would support and larger organizations would help if I got incorporated, then we'd be able to help even more people.

  

We were able to do things on a much larger scale after branding our organization. Several different companies, including Denny's, Whole Foods, Krystal's, and Ultimate Donuts, just to name a few, would donate food to us throughout the week--Food that they would have eventually thrown out otherwise.  Thankfully many places saw the benefit of helping people in need rather than filling up their trash with perfectly edible food.

Every single Monday, come rain or shine (as our motto proclaimed), we would rise before the sun, package food into individual containers, and load up everything we had been donated to begin our journey to Hurt Park in downtown Atlanta for our weekly event.

I had promised my people I'd be there no matter what.  So, after several months of no setbacks or interference, we woke up to our first stormy Monday.  I knew there would probably be less volunteers due to the weather but I'd stressed many times "rain or shine", so I was determined to follow through on my word, even if myself, husband, and our kids were the only ones to help.  I promised my people in the park I would be there no matter what.  I reminded myself that when it storms, they have no where to escape the elements so who am I to hide indoors.  They'll be in that park no matter what and so would I.

I'll never forget that day, as we drove up to Hurt Park, I peered ahead through the storm only to see the relief and expectation on the faces of the people huddled under a tree in the rain.  My family and I jumped out of the car to begin distributing food and hygiene items as usual.  Immediately the people gathered around us attempting to shield us from the rain with their umbrellas.  One man walked up to me, looked me right in the eyes, and said these words...

"I knew you'd still be here."

Those words will forever resonate in my soul.  I cried and wrapped my arms around that man and responded, "nothing can stop me".  I knew the responsibility I had placed on myself to always be there for them every Monday.  Sometimes I'd show up randomly throughout the week if we'd get some extra donations, but I'd ALWAYS be there on Monday.

We experienced many obstacles over the years, even had some health issues on a Sunday night and insisted I get released from the hospital in time to get to my people in the park.  I got out just in time, IV entry wounds still fresh on my veins, but I had to be there.  I'd even gotten my teeth pulled one Monday morning and even though I couldn't talk, everyone knew I still had to be there, voiceless or not. I let my volunteers do all the talking that day.

Sometimes my people would say, "you don't need to be out here, you need to go lay down somewhere", but I wouldn't listen.  For years I let nothing stop us, funds ran low and I'd been struggling to keep my own head above water since during most of this time, unknown to many, my own family was living in the same car we would provide food from. I think in some ways insisting on being there for them every Monday was healing for me. I couldn't get my own family into a home, I didn't make enough money to even take care of us the way I wanted to, but by taking care of what ended up being hundreds every Monday, somehow it made me feel like I wasn't so much of a failure after all.  Somehow, focusing on other people's problems made mine seem small. Besides, there was something about being able to give to so many that made me feel rich.

So now here I am, writing a blog about my struggles with homelessness, my adventures with my organization, the stage production that has come out of it, the book and everything that is still to come; hoping to share some encouragement and inspiration with all who read it. I don't know which of us needs this blog more, me or my readers, but I know that it is extremely important that I am fully dedicated to writing it.  It is only the beginning of many things to come that will soon fund more assistance for more homeless people than I ever could have provided before... and that is why it is so important that I post a blog every Monday... rain or shine!

No matter how many people read this, there will always be that one who needs to read it... that one who says to me, "I knew you'd still be here".

In Honor of My Hero, Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.

I was not fortunate enough to have met the honorable Dr. Martin Luther King Jr., yet he is probably one of my greatest influences and inspirations of all time.

One of the first questions people usually ask me is, "what inspired you to want to help the homeless"?  I will tell you, at first, it was simply that I saw someone homeless, and felt a natural concern and urge to want to change their circumstance.  I recognized this reality of homeless people as an injustice, and I felt the weight of the problem, even before the problem became my own.  I imagine there are just people, like Dr. King himself, who are born with the natural instinct of a hero--You see someone with a problem, or a circumstance you know isn't right, and you NEED to fix it.

When you think about it, there are 3 categories that every person can be put into...

1.  Those who make a difference & try to fix the problem.

2.  Those who choose to ignore the problem or make excuses.

-and-

3.  Those who add to the problem & make things worse.

Take a moment and think about which one of these categories you fall into.  I'm not asking you to tell me the answer; just be honest with yourself about this one.

The reality is that there is a problem; there always has been.  Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. saw multiple problems in America.  He stood, first, for Civil rights; Equality for men and women of all races, because he saw the problem--the way people of color were treated compared to their white counterparts.  People remember Dr. King most for this, but he also stood for Economic rights as well.  In fact, when he was gunned down, he was in Memphis, TN for the purpose of supporting a sanitation worker's strike as a part of his "Poor People's Campaign".  Dr. King was clearly one of those people who would work to fix a problem, wether it was his own or not.  Some of us just cannot live with ourselves if we don't try to make a difference, and many of us, like Dr. King, will die trying.

I've always fallen into the 1st category I listed.  I was the person in school who was quiet, until I saw someone else being picked on, then, it's almost like I became someone else, standing up to any bully for a complete stranger.  This personality was already engraved in me, and only grew stronger when I had the privilege of experiencing homelessness for myself.

... Go ahead and back track if you must, but you did read that right! 

I said... "I had the privilege of being homeless".

Although it was not a life I chose, or wanted, especially for my children... in hindsight I now understand the "why" that I'd asked God so many times.  We always ask God "why is this happening to me", but we rarely pay attention when He answers us.  I simply choose to see the why and live in the purpose and calling God has clearly placed on my life.

Sure I already had a heart for the homeless and would have tried to "be the change I wish to see" no matter what... but I never would have known first hand how extreme the issue of poverty and homelessness really was.  I never would have known how many organizations don't really help the homeless, until I needed them to help my own family.  I never would have learned to be so grateful for every single luxury I have, had I not had to do without so many times.  Therefore I consider it a privilege to have "walked a mile in those shoes".

I often find myself wondering if this self-inflicted obligation to make a difference in the world is a blessing or a curse.  If I had the opportunity to meet Dr. King, I would ask him this question, because I know he would understand what I mean--and even though I can't ask him, I know just what he would say.  Even after being arrested so many times; he and his family being threatened; being beaten; and even assassinated; I know if he was given the choice, he would do it all again--because people who fall into category #1, who need to make a difference, will insanely sacrifice in order to do so... It's just the way we are wired.

So today I dedicate my blog to my hero, the only person I've never met who I know understands me, Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.  Yes, when you ask me what inspired me to want to help the homeless... people like Dr. King, who never ignored a problem so great, are what inspired me.  I can only hope to make even a fraction of the impact that he and countless other heroes made for generations to come!

Thank you! 

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Use What's In Your Hands!

How many times have you found yourself saying one of the following phrases?

"There's nothing more I can do."

"I don't have the resources I need to make it happen."

"If only I had..."

"When I get (X) amount of dollars then I'm going to..."

We've all done it!  I speak especially for myself when I say that people are great at making excuses! Granted, some of those excuses are probably completely justified.  Several of us have experienced some hardships that may have just been unavoidable and until we overcome them, it's hard to focus on the things that need to get done to accomplish our goals.  When I was homeless I probably said one of these, or a similar phrase, 10 times a day before I realized how negative I sounded.  It became important to me to try not to focus so much on what I didn't have at the moment, and work on realizing what I did have instead.

I attended church, not too long ago, at Epic Faith, AKA Epic Family Life Center.  Pastor Jack preached on Moses, reminding me of a story I was all too familiar with.  You know... one of those stories that for some reason you really hear for the first time as an adult.

Let me refresh your memory...

From the New International Version of the King James Bible
Exodus 14:10-22

10As Pharaoh approached, the Israelites looked up, and there were the Egyptians, marching after them. They were terrified and cried out to the Lord. 11They said to Moses, “Was it because there were no graves in Egypt that you brought us to the desert to die? What have you done to us by bringing us out of Egypt? 12Didn’t we say to you in Egypt, ‘Leave us alone; let us serve the Egyptians’? It would have been better for us to serve the Egyptians than to die in the desert!”

13Moses answered the people, “Do not be afraid. Stand firm and you will see the deliverance the Lord will bring you today. The Egyptians you see today you will never see again. 14The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still.”

15Then the Lord said to Moses, “Why are you crying out to me? Tell the Israelites to move on. 16Raise your staff and stretch out your hand over the sea to divide the water so that the Israelites can go through the sea on dry ground. 17I will harden the hearts of the Egyptians so that they will go in after them. And I will gain glory through Pharaoh and all his army, through his chariots and his horsemen. 18The Egyptians will know that I am the Lord when I gain glory through Pharaoh, his chariots and his horsemen.”

19Then the angel of God, who had been traveling in front of Israel’s army, withdrew and went behind them. The pillar of cloud also moved from in front and stood behind them, 20coming between the armies of Egypt and Israel. Throughout the night the cloud brought darkness to the one side and light to the other side; so neither went near the other all night long.

21Then Moses stretched out his hand over the sea, and all that night the Lord drove the sea back with a strong east wind and turned it into dry land. The waters were divided, 22and the Israelites went through the sea on dry ground, with a wall of water on their right and on their left.

Can't you just imagine as you read that story what it must have been like?  I imagine how scared all the people were, and how much pressure Moses must have been under!  All this time, he'd been trying to stay positive, trusting in God and encouraging the people who were depending on his guidance that all would be well in the end.  Now here they are, at the end of the road, with what seemed like no way out!  Have you been there before?

The people were crying out to Moses, expecting him to tell them the next step and what to do.  Even Moses had to have been nervous at that point, because he too was only human and this was an impossible situation they were facing.  That's why the Lord said to him, "Why are you crying out to me?..."  What God was saying to Moses is, "DO YOU NOT REALIZE WHAT YOU HAVE IN YOUR HAND?"  Of course Moses did not, just like we don't today.

You see, when God sends you on a mission or places a calling on your life, He will give you EVERYTHING that you need to accomplish it.  He is not a God who would send you into battle unarmed.  The trick is trusting that He knows what He is doing and that, like His word says, He will not leave you nor forsake you.

When the storm is raging in our lives, it's difficult to remember what God promised us.  When our bank account is falling below $0... When we just can't find a job or don't seem to have what we need to accomplish a task... When even the basic essentials are difficult to come by.... We have to remember that we already have everything we need.

I'm not just someone spitting positivity and Bible verses: I'm someone who has lived what I'm talking about.  This is a statement I had to repeat to myself on a daily basis while I was living homeless in my car with my husband and two children.  Do you think I woke up every day thinking positively? Absolutely not!  But when I realized this important fact, I began to say it out loud on a regular basis, even during times when it was hard to believe.

When an obstacle stood in the way of me accomplishing something, I asked myself, "do I have what I need to accomplish this or is this something that God doesn't really want me to do at the moment?"  Not only did I have to believe that He'd given me everything I needed, but I had to believe that He had me in the right place, at the right time, for the right reason.  Does that make sense?  When you train yourself to think this way you will NEVER be without again... and this is something I can promise you!

It's easy to say, "well that's easy for you to say", when you're referring to someone who is rich or a celebrity.  Sometimes it's hard to take their advice because to "us" they aren't like regular people.  They don't know your struggles.  They have the ability to make things happen just by speaking it.  They have unlimited resources and connections.  Well, what I want you to realize is that so do you!  After all, your Father is the King of the Universe right?  So why not start acting like it?

"What if all you had was a staff?"

What if all you had was a staff?  Would you just lay there crying, "woe is me"?  Would you surrender to life's circumstances?  Or would you pick up that staff, stand tall, and still believe in the calling God has on your life--the promises He made to you?

There are always options, no matter what your "Moses staff" may be.  We weren't all born with beauty, brains, kindness, wealth and the gift of gab.  In fact, very few of us acquire all of the above in one lifetime.  However, we are all given gifts in which we are to use to accomplish what God has put us on this earth to do.  So who are we to say that isn't enough?  Who are we to decide not to part the sea, so to speak, when God has already given us the assignment and the tools we need to complete it?

How many times have you seen a homeless person playing an instrument?  What did it make you think?  How did it make you feel?  Do you realize that this guitar may very well be their only possession aside from the clothes on their back?  How easy would it be for them to give up?  How much more do you have than they?

When I first became homeless, I admit, I whined a lot.  Especially when I saw someone who had much more than me, being ungrateful.  I would be at an event and hear someone complain about how lumpy their bed was and I'd just want to stab them.  Seriously!  

Then I'd go crying to God that night...

"If I had a bed to sleep in I wouldn't complain; but here I am sleeping in the car!  Why do I have to sleep in the car? I work harder than they do... Why am I homeless?"

Until I realized that at least I had a car to sleep in, nothing was ever going to change!  Soon after, I realized also that I had a cell phone, a laptop, connections in the industry, connections with Facebook groups, events I could attend to network, clothes I could wear to these events, money to put in the gas tank, the ability to get to auditions... Need I say more?  I won't even begin to list the skills and talents I had in my possession!

At the end of the day; once I learned to be grateful rather than complaining; I could see that I absolutely had more than enough!  I could see clearly why God had allowed me to experience this hardship--then I began to take my video camera (another thing I had), and use it to document my homeless journey.  I recorded video footage, took pictures, wrote in my journals--all the while thinking about the fact that once we got out of that predicament, this would be a testimony that I'd look back on and be grateful to have experienced!

I focused daily on my award winning book that would one day be listed on Oprah's Book Club!  I meditated on the stage production I'd put on before it ever happened!  I contemplated the movie that would be at the top of the charts one day!  I even thought about the blog that would make six figures every year allowing me to spend more time with my family and never worry about money again!  Some of these things I still give daily thought until they come to pass; others have already been accomplished.  The point is, my mindset has changed from having nothing, to having EVERYTHING!

Now I wonder, after reading this... do you realize what you have?  Will you go on worrying about what you don't have, or will you do as God told Moses and USE WHAT'S IN YOUR HANDS?

If you have questions or would like to request a topic for me to focus on in my next blog, please email me!  Advertising and affiliate marketing opportunities are also available! 

thehomelesstour@gmail.com

Mailing Address:
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Suite 240-180
Norcross, GA 30092

Have You Seen the Movie "Sing"?!

Yesterday was the 1st day of a NEW YEAR and, like many people, I was busy contemplating how to make this year my best one yet.  I'd wracked my brain all week, and especially on this day in particular, with lists, goals, and ideas on what I can do differently to be more successful, make more money, and take better care of myself this year: You know, all the normal New Year's Resolutions we all keep for about a month or so!

What can I do differently this year to not make the same mistakes as the previous year?  I, along with billions of other people, was pondering these things until my head ached... And as I had resolved to do in 2017, when I found myself getting overwhelmed, I took a break and just spent some time to focus on my family.

We'd all wanted to see the movie "Sing!" since we'd seen the commercials on television, so that's what we did. We loaded up all the kids on this muggy, wet day and headed to the theater to see this highly anticipated singing cartoon.

As I expected, it was funny, exciting, and heartwarming.  What I didn't expect though was to be inspired the way that I was.  So much so, I decided to dedicate an entire blog to this production, and what seeing it stirred up in me.

Every once in a while, you see a movie or experience an event that changes your perspective and makes you reevaluate your purpose for living. Yes!  This children's cartoon movie was that serious for me!  I was truly moved!

Without giving anything away, in case you haven't seen the movie yet; I was inspired by the way the animals in the movie pursued their love for singing against all odds.  Each animal character had their own story within the flick, and each one faced their own hardships, as we all do in life.  I was reminded that even when life knocks you down and it seems you'll never be able to rebuild what you started, the only thing you need to do is keep doing what you love and watch everything else come together.

I was encouraged to see each character rally around the main character, a koala bear named Buster Moon, in hopes to help him accomplish the vision that he, and they too, believed in.  It reminded me of how supportive people have been of my stage production, and our organization, from day one.  Even while in my own homelessness, I was unable to pay my cast and crew, so many of them gave unselfishly of their time to help make the vision a reality.  That is such an amazing feeling, and I felt that again as I watched this movie.  There's nothing better than the feeling you get when other people believe in your vision and stand with you to help you see it through!

The original cast of The Face of Homeless, 2013 world premiere.

This blog is in no way affiliated with the movie "Sing!" or it's creators.  I'm not being paid to promote them, but I will say, if you have a passion burning inside of you... If you've been discouraged because you've failed many times... If you've been through hardships that may have stopped or slowed down your progress... then this movie is sure to rekindle that fire and make you want to do whatever it is that lights you up inside!

For me, of course, that fire is my love for performing; whether that's on a stage, television, through my writing, or on a catwalk.  There's just something about knowing you are impacting an audience and possibly even changing their lives... Much in the same way this movie did for me!

Maybe it's a fear of failure, or just plain procrastination, but some of the things I've planned to do, such as getting this blog going, have been put on the back burner time and time again.  Like the koala bear told the shy elephant in the movie... "You'll overcome your fear if you just go out there & sing"!  ... So this is me going on out there & doing what I love to do!  What I know I was CREATED to do!  Without worry that it may not go the way I planned... If nothing else I'm enjoying the journey and can finally say I'm walking in my purpose!

So you can look forward to a lot more blogs, videos, stage plays, movies, events, shows, books.... YOU NAME IT!  I'm officially grabbing the "2017 bull" by the horns and I'm not going to let it get away from me this time!  I know there are so many great things in store, and I hope you will follow me along the journey and allow me to not only entertain, but encourage you!

Whatever your storm in life may be, or has been, don't let it stop you... let it drive you!  If it weren't for me living through being homeless, how would I have this testimony to share with you?  You see how everything happens for a reason?  I went through the storm and now that I've come out on the other end, I am ready to let my light shine through my testimony!  After all, that is what we're all supposed to be doing in life... In a way... we're all supposed to SING!

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