Unfortunately, while I had hoped to help someone else's life possibly get better, my own took a turn for the worst and I ended up having to sit that blog out. After an excruciating week followed by a rejuvenating hiatus camping in the woods along the Chatooga River, I must say I am glad to be back and finally sharing this post with you as promised!
I wanted to dedicate my blog last week to this topic, not only because I was so inspired by this show and it's message, but because I wanted to confess that I too am a suicide survivor. For those of you who are clueless as to what that even means, it means I've had suicidal thoughts in the past and even made suicide attempts, my life had gotten so much to the end of my rope that I could see no way to end the pain except to no longer live... yet I'm still here today.For some people, that statement doesn't mean much, and I believe those people are who 13 Reasons Why was truly created for. If you're someone who simply views suicide as an action taken by someone who is weak, selfish, pitiful... If you have absolutely no understanding as to why anyone would ever feel the desire to end their life... Well you should probably watch the show immediately before you go any further. Maybe it will open up your eyes, if you have the capacity at all to empathize with your fellow human.
On the other hand, maybe you've never reached your breaking point but you know someone who has and you just want to understand what they may be going through, or went through. Maybe you're just wondering why someone would ever make such a drastic decision... Whichever position you happen to be in, I believe you will find yourself somewhere in one of the characters of this show and very likely learn something about yourself you didn't know before. Maybe you'll even learn how you can do your part in suicide prevention.
I'll do my best to write this blog without any spoilers since many of you may not have watched the show yet and I really want you to, especially if you don't understand a thing about suicide. I believe this show can truly open your eyes to a very real and serious problem that's probably even more ignored than the homeless issue because it is such a controversial and sensitive topic.
I recommend that everyone watch this show if for no other reason except that it may possibly cause you to begin to treat people differently. Although it is set in a high school I think it is best not to allow your teens to watch it, at least not without the guidance and proper discussion with an adult.
“We do not recommend that vulnerable youth, especially
those who have any degree of suicidal ideation, watch this series,”
the National Association of School Psychologists said in a statement.
13 Reasons Why is basically a story told from the point of view of a young woman who has committed suicide. Before her untimely death she recorded a series of tapes in hopes that the people who she feels drove her to that point would understand why she is no longer alive and what part they each played in her decision to take her life.
Although some people argue that the show makes suicide seem glorified, as you watch the story unfold, it's the writer's hope that you will gain some understanding and hopefully sympathize with the main character. The story allows you to see it from her point of view and realize that the things she'd gone through, although some didn't seem that serious to others, were very critical to her ability to function and live a normal, happy life.
For many, this show should be one of those "AH HA"! moments...
Like, "Wow, I didn't realize how much that meant to you", and will hopefully make people think twice before they judge or assume what someone else is going through.
I mean, when is the last time you actually thought about how your actions and words affect someone else? Every time you come into contact with another human being, the way you treat them, the things you say, could either make their day or break it... some even to the point of ending their own life.
Now with that knowledge, wouldn't you be more careful to treat people with kindness and respect? This is the ultimate message that is intended to resonate with the viewers of this incredible series.
Suicide is a sensitive topic, especially for someone who has been to that dark place, so I could go on forever discussing it, explaining ways to overcome that desperate act and choose life... but for the sake of condensing my opinion and expertise into one blog I'm going to say this...
If you find yourself at the end of your rope, alone and feeling like not only does no one care but they'd all be better off without you, ask yourself this... Is what I'm feeling based on facts or my current circumstances only? If the current situation were different would I still feel this way? What can I do to change it? What will I miss out on if I'm not here anymore? What happens next? Remember that YOU have all the power to decide how your life ends up even when it seems like things just keep going wrong for you. If you make the decision to commit suicide, you made that decision and you acted it out just the same way you can make the decision to LIVE and act out the next steps. Which I know first hand that the later is much harder. You have the power to make the tough decisions and you have to remind yourself of that especially when you are in a powerless state of mind.
All of the lies that swirl around in your head at that moment--all of the negativity-- start stealing the energy back from those thoughts! Don't let them come out of your mouth and consume your soul. When you think "I'm ugly", say out loud, "I'm beautiful"... Even if you don't believe what you're saying at that moment. Your words are power!
Most people will tell you... Call the suicide prevention line... I'll post that number here because perhaps you came across this article because you're honestly contemplating this act and maybe you do need to call....
...but I'll be honest, being someone who has been there done that, you want someone to CARE and LOVE YOU and at the moment you can't think of a single person who does... and the idea of calling a complete stranger so that they can "do their job" to talk you off the ledge is depressing in itself, but that's just how I've always felt about it. To each his own.
For me, I had to learn how to plan ahead. Because I knew I'd gotten to that point before and committing suicide was an innate possibility for me, during the times when things weren't so bad I'd have to take advantage of those sane moments and make a list (literally probably 1 or 2 people) who understood how I felt and loved me enough to be able to calm me down if I got to that point again; people who will not judge or criticize you for feeling that way but will help you through in that difficult moment. Give yourself permission to call them when things get out of control and let them pull you back into the possibility that things could get better.
At the end of the day, if you are or have ever felt suicidal, you've probably been through a hell of a lot. Maybe it would help to think about all you've been through and how you got through it. All those times were mere moments in the past that are now memories and this moment will soon be a memory also that, if you can stay strong a little longer, you can look back on and see how you got through this too.
I'll leave you with this monologue I did some years ago when I was struggling with suicidal thoughts. I felt that if I helped someone else get through it, I'd be helping myself overcome these feelings as well. I hope that it helps you to realize the possibility of your breakthrough being so close... don't make a decision just yet... hold on and see what your turn around looks like. If you've been through as much as I have you have to know that your destiny is HUGE! Otherwise why would anyone ever be trying to stop you? #IJS
As for those of you who've never been there, that's fine, I hope you never have to feel that pain, but please try to understand that there are people who struggle with this and if we can all learn to treat each other a little better much of that struggle can be avoided.
Last but not least, here is a list of warning signs to look for if you think someone you love may be dealing with suicidal thoughts. You can't help them unless you know what you're dealing with. I hope that this information and the insight you gain from watching 13 Reasons Why will help you see things from someone else's perspective so that you can be a part of the 13 Reasons Why NOT!
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