Never Struggle with a Poor Self Image Again!

The last several weeks have been all about my learning experiences and revelations surrounding Adrian's passing.  Granted there have been a lot and I could keep going for years blogging about those alone, but tonight, I'm going to get just a little off topic as there is something else I feel needs to be discussed.

One of the things I have struggled with for years has been my self image.  From the outside looking in people see a beautiful woman with many talents, confident, strong, capable... however this is something I have always struggled to see for myself.

Although I know the obvious facts at hand, I often feel incapable or unworthy and over the years I have learned that millions of people struggle with these same difficulties... I am not alone.  So today I want to discuss them, specifically from a spiritual standpoint, so that someone else who may be dealing with this can know that they are not alone too!

It is certainly a great quality to be humble and understand that the things you are able to accomplish do not come from your own power and ability but are a blessing and gift from our creator, there is a healthy balance that must be obtained in knowing that you are worth the time and effort it took, not only for God to create you, but for Him to continue to grow and perfect you daily throughout your entire existence.

Although you may be one of the few who realizes your life is for His Glory and not your own, you must also realize that He created YOU capable, gifted, beautiful... perfect for your purpose.  You must realize that you are a child of the KING and this fact alone makes you ROYALTY.

It is true that many of us, especially in America these days, walk around thinking so highly of ourselves that we see ourselves as better than everyone else around us.  This false self image applies to men and women alike, however, for this particular blog I'm going to speak to the women, since it is how I can best relate of course.

Whether it is the way we were brought up, childhood experiences, media perception, the way men have treated us, the things people have said about us... there are so many reasons that our own self image can become so misconstrued.

How often are we exposed to music that degrades us, television in which we degrade ourselves and each other, relationships that break us down rather than build us up?  I could go on for hours listing all the causes of our own self hatred... However, if you're relating to this at all yet, you probably know them all.  I want to talk about the solution rather than give so much energy to the problem we're already aware of.

Now I admit, this is going to be one of those solutions that seems easier said than done, but the truth is the only solution to this problem so many of us face is to change our mindset.

Well how in the world do I do that?

Well, it's certainly not as easy as it sounds.  It takes time, patience, research... in fact, depending on how deep the problem is for you, it's much like going to college and devoting your entire existence for that period of time to doing whatever you have to do to graduate, hopefully with honors.

I speak for myself when I tell you that I personally have had to try various methods over time to change my mind set, but the fact is, it is because I recognize my mindset as the main problem that I'm able to focus my energy on correcting it.

When you have constantly been fed lies and negativity year after year, it's going to take some time to undo the thinking that those experiences have caused.  I advise you to allow yourself the time you need.  Be patient with yourself and don't put yourself down even worse when you do slip back into your old way of thinking for a moment.  Remember how long it took you to get your thinking the way it is now and allow yourself at least half that time to fix it.

Work on eliminating things that would feed that negative self-worth.  Refrain from listening to music that minimizes a woman's worth.  Don't expose yourself to "reality" TV, music videos, or any media that tells you you're worthless if you don't meet these standards.

And here's one of the hardest parts... Disassociate yourself with people who tear you down rather than build you up.  If there is anyone in your life, whether they are a friend, family member, spouse, etc. that says things on a regular basis to you, constantly feeding that feeling of worthlessness, you need to break those ties today!

I know in some instances it's a little harder to do this... Like maybe you've been married 10 years, you have children together, you feel like you have nowhere else to go, etc.  Start by disconnecting yourself emotionally.  Disconnection doesn't necessarily have to be physical.  Put up a wall that will not allow that person's negative words or actions to penetrate your light.  Focus on loving YOU and treating yourself like the queen you are.  Once you do that, all of your relationships will align correctly.

When something or someone tries to come against that light you are creating for yourself, rebuke that energy immediately and don't let it have any affect on you.  You are trying to get your mind to an impenetrable place and that's going to be a lot harder if you continue to let things in that work against your efforts.  Put up a forcefield of protection and when you see the missiles being fired, push a mental button to throw that force field up and protect your mind, heart, and soul.

If the mental or emotional abuse has gone beyond that to becoming physical, that's a whole other blog, but you've definitely got to put some distance between you and your abuser in order to work on your mind and get better.  A mental wall won't work in this instance.  You'll need to protect yourself physically first.

You have to see the feelings you are dealing with as an illness.  They do not define who you are.  This is just an "addiction" you are dealing with at the moment.  You have become accustomed to those feelings based on your circumstances and now you need to heal and learn how to not feel this way any more.  It sounds simple but it's true.  You need to go to rehab in every sense of the experience.

It's hard to determine how long this process will take but I know from experience that it works a lot faster when you're exposing yourself on a regular basis to things and people that remind you who you REALLY are.  YOU ARE A QUEEN!

Watch Youtube videos encouraging your self-esteem, read blogs just like the one you're reading now, have conversations with people who can relate and encourage each other... and make sure that you tell yourself every day, out loud, in the mirror, that you are created perfectly for a purpose that only YOU can accomplish.

YOU ARE SPECIAL.  

YOU ARE DIFFERENT.  

YOU ARE A QUEEN!

PS.  If you're looking for a good place to start with this process, I encourage you to get a copy of Queen V. by Derrick Little.  Following along with this interactive workbook has definitely aided me in realizing my greatness and I want to share it with you in hopes it will help you as well.  If you experience feelings of worthlessness or low self-esteem, it is not something you should take lightly or disregard... YOU ARE GREAT & it's time you start living and walking in that GREATNESS!

Follow Queen V on Facebook!

Can You Hear the Cry of the Poor?

These last few weeks have been focused on Adrian and the circumstances surrounding his passing.  Almost daily, someone else whose life he had touched finds out that he is no longer with us and proclaims to me how they “can’t believe it”.

I can’t believe it either, but what’s even harder to believe is how long his lifeless body lay in the streets without anyone even noticing he was in trouble.  I keep thinking that if someone had responded to him sooner, maybe we would be celebrating his recovery right now rather than the end of his suffering through death.

The lack of empathy we as a society have for each other sickens me.  The entire situation is heart breaking.  Whether you knew Adrian personally or not, I am sure you would agree.

Regardless, as Adrian would have wanted, we remain encouraged and maintain our mission to encourage others to show concern for their fellow man. 

With just two more weeks before the big celebration in the park, I want to make sure that everyone understands the significance of this upcoming event.  We aren’t just commemorating a life lost or celebrating the amazing person Adrian was, we’re also thinking about the homeless individuals who suffer daily in the streets, many literally dying, yet so few even acknowledge their existence, let alone show them they are loved.  At "Adrian’s Celebration of Life", this is exactly what we plan to do.

Adrian, although homeless himself, made it his daily mission to help “the least of these”, even on days when all he had to give was a prayer and a word from God.

As I plan for this event, my thoughts are on what Adrian would want to happen, how he would feel about each part of this process, and how he would contribute, as he always had when we planned our weekly events in Hurt Park in the years past. 

Each time we make some significant progress or get some good news, I always look at his photo on the obituary in the visor of my car and say with a smile, “Look at that Adrian!  Did you see what God just did!”  And although I’m looking forward to seeing this entire celebration come together in honor of him, I’m not looking forward to being out there in Hurt Park without him.  I’m not looking forward to what that reality is going to feel like.

Many of the people participating in this event didn’t know Adrian personally but they have a heart to want to help and I’m so thankful for everyone who has committed themselves, their talent, and their time, to making this event a success.

I want to use this blog to acknowledge and thank everyone who is a part of the event so far!  As you look over this list, I hope that you too will strongly consider joining this occasion.  Everyone can play a part in some way!  Please do not turn a blind eye like the majority. 

 Proverbs 21:13  

“Whoever closes his ear to the cry of the poor will himself 

call out and not be answered.”

Dj Creshendo will be over the music department keeping our guests entertained!

Brutha War is performing LIVE some of his encouraging original singles!

Ignatius Hines will bless us with his saxophone melodies!

Jabias Mitchell AKA "Jabias Da Kidd" & his crew will represent for the youth who care about the homeless community and set an example for upcoming generations!

Pastor LaTarsha Holden, will be sharing from her own experiences how she won the fight against homelessness!  She's now a published Author & running for Atlanta City Council!

... And this is just the beginning!

To Sign Up to Perform or Speak EMAIL US!

Let's not forget about the organizations, churches, ministries & businesses
who are making this event possible...

  

If you church, organization or business would like to contribute by either setting up a table to distribute or making a donation please EMAIL US!

... and finally a HUGE THANK YOU 

to all of our 

AMAZING VOLUNTEERS & DONORS!!!

Gail Christopher
Catherine West
Gwen McGuire
LaTrice C. Scarlett
Kimberly Fennell
Tonya Renee
Deanna Flemming
Coretta Jones
Kimberly Neal

It's not too late to be a part of the festivities!  

By next week, we want this list to have TRIPLED in size!  

So CONTACT US if you would like to contribute in some way!

Plus don't forget to forward this to a friend & spread the word!

Are you going to die one day?

Everyone has that pivotal moment that causes them to really evaluate where they are in life.  When someone close to you passes away, especially, it causes you to come to the realization that life is much too short.

When was the last time you really took a look at your life and reevaluated your game plan based on how little time we each get?

As much as you plan and try to shape your life into what you want it to be, there are only a few things that are inevitable, and those things are bills and death.  We're all going to have some kind of bills and expenses, even those of us with very little possessions.  We all have to eat, and eventually every one of us is going to have to die, whether unexpectedly or of old age.  Of course, when referring to the inevitable, we all hope for the latter, but that isn't always the hand we're dealt.

Most of us who aren't quite in our elderly stages yet don't really think too much about dying.  I wonder why that is?  Everyone just walks around assuming nothing is going to happen to them between now and the time they're old and wrinkly on their death bed, but how often do unforeseen events occur that end lives much sooner than anyone had expected?

When it comes down to it, the truth is, we can all die at any given moment due to any given circumstance... and that is just a fact, however difficult it may be to accept.

I know my blog post sounds a bit morbid so far but bare with me, I do have a point.

Over the past couple of years I have really become interested in how to better plan for the inevitable and make sure that I leave my children with something to ensure that they will not have a financial burden placed upon them in the event of my death.  I've come to the realization, especially with Adrian's recent passing and my grandfather not too long before, someone is going to have to be responsible for my burial expenses.  That just isn't something you want your family to have to worry about at such a stressful time.

I've only recently learned that if no one takes on the responsibility, or you did not leave the funds to be able to cover that expense, you'll literally be thrown into a cardboard box and your loved ones will have exactly 15 minutes to commemorate the life you once lived, not a minute more, before you're put in the ground right next to someone else who couldn't afford a real funeral.  Heaven forbid your family want to have a gravestone or marker so that they can visit your resting place in the future.  They're going to need at least $600 just for that.

When you think about it, the most expensive thing most of us will ever do is die.

I'm not writing this blog to scare you or get you to think negatively.  On the contrary, I hope to encourage you to plan for this one event that we all will experience but so many of us fail to plan for.

The fact is that most of us, especially under age 50, do not have a life insurance policy or a Will, and until recently I didn't realize how scary that reality was.  I've taken steps to ensure that not only will my children not be left with the financial burden of funeral expenses, but will also have financial security for their future, and I'm teaching them the importance of this so that they too can plan for the future of their own children.


Isn't it about time that we start some family traditions that will be beneficial for generations to come?

I'm sure there are many things that as an adult you can say, "I wish someone had taught me about this when I was younger".  Things like the importance of credit, how to invest in stocks, 401k and savings plans... and of course having a Will and a life insurance.

That is what made me decide to get my life insurance license and now, not only is my own family covered, but I'm also helping other families plan ahead so that they don't have to suffer when they lose a loved one.  So many people don't even think that they can afford life insurance but honestly, none of us can afford not to have it.  For as little as the price you spend on fast food in a week, you can secure the financial future of your loved ones.

It's as simple as that yet for some reason we make it so complicated!

So now it's time to ask yourself what's most important to you!

If this is something you hadn't really thought about until now, or perhaps you had thought about it but never took the steps to obtain life insurance, you need to contact me right away!

Don't wait until it's too late!  Don't make the same mistake that THOUSANDS of people across the country make every single day!  Get yourself and your family covered so you don't have to regret not making this decision.  It should be easy!

CONTACT ME NOW!

God Will Use You Wherever You Are!

These past few weeks have been very strenuous to say the least.  I’m sure you read about the passing of my friend and father figure, Adrian Stevenson.  What you didn't know is that there was even more going on behind the scenes during that time than I even had the time to write about.

I'll never forget the day Adrian left this earth.  I had planned to come visit him again that Wednesday night because I didn't want the last time I saw him in that hospice to be the last time I saw him amongst the living.  Although I was still hoping and believing for a miracle, I knew the odds he had, and I understood that if it was God's will for Adrian’s time with us to come to an end I would have to prepare myself for that possibility as well.

When I got the call that morning warning me that he was having trouble breathing and we may not have much longer with him I asked to be put on speaker so that I could talk to him once more before it was too late.

Adrian was the type of person that would do anything for those he loved and I knew he loved me, and this organization, very much.  I knew that he was fighting hard, even after being removed from life support several days earlier.  I knew that it was very likely he was fighting so hard because he knew we wanted him to get better.  All we'd been saying to him is how we still wanted him here and didn't want to lose him, but we hadn't thought about the pain he's experienced here and the fact that he may very well want to let go.

I could hear him over the phone painfully gasping for precious air.  In those final moments, I told him that I understood if he was too tired and needed to go home to rest.  I made sure he knew that he’d taught us well and his work will not have been in vain.  I reassured him we would hold it down until we meet again.  I said my last goodbye to this incredible angel God had blessed us to know and I asked him to put in a good word for me with Jesus when he got to the other side.  

As hard as it was to do, I let Adrian go, knowing that he would be at peace and no longer homeless or suffering.  He took his final breath just minutes later.

As if this day wasn't difficult enough already, that very night I get a phone call from the Sherrif's Department claiming that there was a warrant out for my arrest and I needed to turn myself in immediately.  At first I thought this had to be a mistake but as I questioned the officer on the source of this "outstanding warrant" I was reminded how distractions often come as soon as we’ve made up our minds to give it our all and focus on what God has purposed us for.  With that in mind I thought to myself, “this doesn’t surprise me at all”.

It never fails, every time I regain my focus and am determined to change the world with my organization, it's like the floodgates of hell open up and I'm overwhelmed with everything that could possibly stunt my progress or even cause me to want to give up.

Can you relate? 

Without going into too much detail regarding these bogus charges; I want to make sure I get my point across and not go off on a tangent.  I will say that the officer basically told me that the only option I had to get rid of this outstanding warrant was to go to jail and be bailed out.  As I dug deeper with the help of various lawyers and friends I found out that these original allegations where much more serious than I'd thought and if I didn't get a lawyer to take care of it I could be looking at some serious time in prison. 

Although the thought of possibly missing years of my children's lives was excruciating, I knew that this was not a coincidence that it just happened to come up the day of Adrian's passing.  I don't believe in coincidence so I could only believe and rest assured that God was up to something.

After several hundred phone calls and finally securing a lawyer, I went down to the prison to do the inevitable.  I didn't want this warrant, no matter how ridiculous it may be, to be looming as I was trying to prepare for the funeral services that Adrian's family had entrusted me to assist with.  I wasn’t going to let anything interfere with Adrian’s service being everything we had in our power to make it, because he deserved the best.

I'd expected it would take a few hours to get processed and bailed out, but I didn't expect I'd come in first thing in the morning and not be free until later that night.  I'd expected to be surrounded by cold hard criminals, but what I didn't expect was a room full of hurting women... mothers, young adults, many very scared, worried--unsure of what was going to happen to them next.  Some admitted their crimes and poor judgment in their situation, others, like myself had no idea that a seemingly innocent act years ago would lead to where they were at the moment.

Once I was in the holding cell with about 30 other women, I realized very quickly that this day was not going to be anything like what I expected.  Despite my own circumstance I did what I do best and set aside my own problems to focus on the other hurt souls in the room.  I began to walk around and just ask God to use me in this situation. 

As I was compelled to talk to each individual, each time I did, she began to poor her heart out and share her pain with me.  I prayed with many of the women throughout the day.  Other's that I didn't have a chance to pray with heard my prayers so I'm sure they were still touched by it in some way.  I became excited, as what I had once thought would be an awful experience became the most amazing act of God I'd ever witnessed.

I entered the prison that day with a smile on my face because I was determined to trust God in the midst of it all.  I left with the same smile on my face that I'd walked in with, except this time it was saying, “Look what God has done!”

I’ll be honest, I hesitated to write my blog about this today.  Sometimes it’s hard to be an open book for fear of judgment and criticism, but we all have a testimony and this one in particular truly shows how God can use any situation or current circumstance to His Glory!  So I came to the conclusion, and I’ll say the same to you… your testimony can’t help anyone if you keep it to yourself.

That one day I spent in a holding cell was probably the best day I’d had since the first day I went out into the parks feeding and loving on the homeless.  It felt so good to be God’s useful vessel again and for what I thought would discourage me to have motivated me in such a way that I am on fire for God's purpose and plan.

I pray for each and every woman I met that day!  I pray that their situations got resolved, lessons where learned, mercy and grace was granted… I pray that they leave their cells soon and with a sense of redemption.  I pray that they know their worth and that they are so important that God saw fit to put me right where I needed to be just for them!

I will end by saying this… When you realize that your life is not your own and you become a living sacrifice, allowing and asking God to use you in every way, every day you are given, NOTHING CAN EVER HAPPEN TO YOU!  Everything that happens from this point on will happen FOR YOU, WITH YOU, AND BECAUSE OF YOU!  There is nothing that can go wrong because you understand that everything that God allows, even when it looks bad, if you allow Him, He will use it for your benefit and the benefit of those around you!

Adrian certainly understood this better than any of us.  As he wandered the streets a homeless man, many saw him as a prophet because he used his displacement on a daily basis to be a messenger of God, constantly spreading God's love, prayer & scripture.  He would often proclaim to us that he stood in need of nothing, but he was constantly grateful for every opportunity to preach, teach, and pray.  He saw his own situation as a position God ALLOWED him to be in rather than something that had happened to him.

So understand that YOU are blessed and highly favored!  Wherever you are, ask God, “how can I be of service even now, even in this”.  Let him work your mess out and it become the greatest thing that’s ever happened FOR you! 

NEWS UPDATE:

Adrian's "Celebration of Life" will be held on April 29th from 3pm-6pm in Hurt Park. Save the date & make plans to attend & show the community that we stand together for those hurting and in need!  We are calling all organizations, ministries, churches, volunteers, etc. to participate and/or donate.  Email thehomelesstour@gmail.com for more information or call (678) 709-8505.

You can also contribute by making a monetary contribution!