Never Struggle with a Poor Self Image Again!

The last several weeks have been all about my learning experiences and revelations surrounding Adrian's passing.  Granted there have been a lot and I could keep going for years blogging about those alone, but tonight, I'm going to get just a little off topic as there is something else I feel needs to be discussed.

One of the things I have struggled with for years has been my self image.  From the outside looking in people see a beautiful woman with many talents, confident, strong, capable... however this is something I have always struggled to see for myself.

Although I know the obvious facts at hand, I often feel incapable or unworthy and over the years I have learned that millions of people struggle with these same difficulties... I am not alone.  So today I want to discuss them, specifically from a spiritual standpoint, so that someone else who may be dealing with this can know that they are not alone too!

It is certainly a great quality to be humble and understand that the things you are able to accomplish do not come from your own power and ability but are a blessing and gift from our creator, there is a healthy balance that must be obtained in knowing that you are worth the time and effort it took, not only for God to create you, but for Him to continue to grow and perfect you daily throughout your entire existence.

Although you may be one of the few who realizes your life is for His Glory and not your own, you must also realize that He created YOU capable, gifted, beautiful... perfect for your purpose.  You must realize that you are a child of the KING and this fact alone makes you ROYALTY.

It is true that many of us, especially in America these days, walk around thinking so highly of ourselves that we see ourselves as better than everyone else around us.  This false self image applies to men and women alike, however, for this particular blog I'm going to speak to the women, since it is how I can best relate of course.

Whether it is the way we were brought up, childhood experiences, media perception, the way men have treated us, the things people have said about us... there are so many reasons that our own self image can become so misconstrued.

How often are we exposed to music that degrades us, television in which we degrade ourselves and each other, relationships that break us down rather than build us up?  I could go on for hours listing all the causes of our own self hatred... However, if you're relating to this at all yet, you probably know them all.  I want to talk about the solution rather than give so much energy to the problem we're already aware of.

Now I admit, this is going to be one of those solutions that seems easier said than done, but the truth is the only solution to this problem so many of us face is to change our mindset.

Well how in the world do I do that?

Well, it's certainly not as easy as it sounds.  It takes time, patience, research... in fact, depending on how deep the problem is for you, it's much like going to college and devoting your entire existence for that period of time to doing whatever you have to do to graduate, hopefully with honors.

I speak for myself when I tell you that I personally have had to try various methods over time to change my mind set, but the fact is, it is because I recognize my mindset as the main problem that I'm able to focus my energy on correcting it.

When you have constantly been fed lies and negativity year after year, it's going to take some time to undo the thinking that those experiences have caused.  I advise you to allow yourself the time you need.  Be patient with yourself and don't put yourself down even worse when you do slip back into your old way of thinking for a moment.  Remember how long it took you to get your thinking the way it is now and allow yourself at least half that time to fix it.

Work on eliminating things that would feed that negative self-worth.  Refrain from listening to music that minimizes a woman's worth.  Don't expose yourself to "reality" TV, music videos, or any media that tells you you're worthless if you don't meet these standards.

And here's one of the hardest parts... Disassociate yourself with people who tear you down rather than build you up.  If there is anyone in your life, whether they are a friend, family member, spouse, etc. that says things on a regular basis to you, constantly feeding that feeling of worthlessness, you need to break those ties today!

I know in some instances it's a little harder to do this... Like maybe you've been married 10 years, you have children together, you feel like you have nowhere else to go, etc.  Start by disconnecting yourself emotionally.  Disconnection doesn't necessarily have to be physical.  Put up a wall that will not allow that person's negative words or actions to penetrate your light.  Focus on loving YOU and treating yourself like the queen you are.  Once you do that, all of your relationships will align correctly.

When something or someone tries to come against that light you are creating for yourself, rebuke that energy immediately and don't let it have any affect on you.  You are trying to get your mind to an impenetrable place and that's going to be a lot harder if you continue to let things in that work against your efforts.  Put up a forcefield of protection and when you see the missiles being fired, push a mental button to throw that force field up and protect your mind, heart, and soul.

If the mental or emotional abuse has gone beyond that to becoming physical, that's a whole other blog, but you've definitely got to put some distance between you and your abuser in order to work on your mind and get better.  A mental wall won't work in this instance.  You'll need to protect yourself physically first.

You have to see the feelings you are dealing with as an illness.  They do not define who you are.  This is just an "addiction" you are dealing with at the moment.  You have become accustomed to those feelings based on your circumstances and now you need to heal and learn how to not feel this way any more.  It sounds simple but it's true.  You need to go to rehab in every sense of the experience.

It's hard to determine how long this process will take but I know from experience that it works a lot faster when you're exposing yourself on a regular basis to things and people that remind you who you REALLY are.  YOU ARE A QUEEN!

Watch Youtube videos encouraging your self-esteem, read blogs just like the one you're reading now, have conversations with people who can relate and encourage each other... and make sure that you tell yourself every day, out loud, in the mirror, that you are created perfectly for a purpose that only YOU can accomplish.

YOU ARE SPECIAL.  

YOU ARE DIFFERENT.  

YOU ARE A QUEEN!

PS.  If you're looking for a good place to start with this process, I encourage you to get a copy of Queen V. by Derrick Little.  Following along with this interactive workbook has definitely aided me in realizing my greatness and I want to share it with you in hopes it will help you as well.  If you experience feelings of worthlessness or low self-esteem, it is not something you should take lightly or disregard... YOU ARE GREAT & it's time you start living and walking in that GREATNESS!

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