Never Struggle with a Poor Self Image Again!

The last several weeks have been all about my learning experiences and revelations surrounding Adrian's passing.  Granted there have been a lot and I could keep going for years blogging about those alone, but tonight, I'm going to get just a little off topic as there is something else I feel needs to be discussed.

One of the things I have struggled with for years has been my self image.  From the outside looking in people see a beautiful woman with many talents, confident, strong, capable... however this is something I have always struggled to see for myself.

Although I know the obvious facts at hand, I often feel incapable or unworthy and over the years I have learned that millions of people struggle with these same difficulties... I am not alone.  So today I want to discuss them, specifically from a spiritual standpoint, so that someone else who may be dealing with this can know that they are not alone too!

It is certainly a great quality to be humble and understand that the things you are able to accomplish do not come from your own power and ability but are a blessing and gift from our creator, there is a healthy balance that must be obtained in knowing that you are worth the time and effort it took, not only for God to create you, but for Him to continue to grow and perfect you daily throughout your entire existence.

Although you may be one of the few who realizes your life is for His Glory and not your own, you must also realize that He created YOU capable, gifted, beautiful... perfect for your purpose.  You must realize that you are a child of the KING and this fact alone makes you ROYALTY.

It is true that many of us, especially in America these days, walk around thinking so highly of ourselves that we see ourselves as better than everyone else around us.  This false self image applies to men and women alike, however, for this particular blog I'm going to speak to the women, since it is how I can best relate of course.

Whether it is the way we were brought up, childhood experiences, media perception, the way men have treated us, the things people have said about us... there are so many reasons that our own self image can become so misconstrued.

How often are we exposed to music that degrades us, television in which we degrade ourselves and each other, relationships that break us down rather than build us up?  I could go on for hours listing all the causes of our own self hatred... However, if you're relating to this at all yet, you probably know them all.  I want to talk about the solution rather than give so much energy to the problem we're already aware of.

Now I admit, this is going to be one of those solutions that seems easier said than done, but the truth is the only solution to this problem so many of us face is to change our mindset.

Well how in the world do I do that?

Well, it's certainly not as easy as it sounds.  It takes time, patience, research... in fact, depending on how deep the problem is for you, it's much like going to college and devoting your entire existence for that period of time to doing whatever you have to do to graduate, hopefully with honors.

I speak for myself when I tell you that I personally have had to try various methods over time to change my mind set, but the fact is, it is because I recognize my mindset as the main problem that I'm able to focus my energy on correcting it.

When you have constantly been fed lies and negativity year after year, it's going to take some time to undo the thinking that those experiences have caused.  I advise you to allow yourself the time you need.  Be patient with yourself and don't put yourself down even worse when you do slip back into your old way of thinking for a moment.  Remember how long it took you to get your thinking the way it is now and allow yourself at least half that time to fix it.

Work on eliminating things that would feed that negative self-worth.  Refrain from listening to music that minimizes a woman's worth.  Don't expose yourself to "reality" TV, music videos, or any media that tells you you're worthless if you don't meet these standards.

And here's one of the hardest parts... Disassociate yourself with people who tear you down rather than build you up.  If there is anyone in your life, whether they are a friend, family member, spouse, etc. that says things on a regular basis to you, constantly feeding that feeling of worthlessness, you need to break those ties today!

I know in some instances it's a little harder to do this... Like maybe you've been married 10 years, you have children together, you feel like you have nowhere else to go, etc.  Start by disconnecting yourself emotionally.  Disconnection doesn't necessarily have to be physical.  Put up a wall that will not allow that person's negative words or actions to penetrate your light.  Focus on loving YOU and treating yourself like the queen you are.  Once you do that, all of your relationships will align correctly.

When something or someone tries to come against that light you are creating for yourself, rebuke that energy immediately and don't let it have any affect on you.  You are trying to get your mind to an impenetrable place and that's going to be a lot harder if you continue to let things in that work against your efforts.  Put up a forcefield of protection and when you see the missiles being fired, push a mental button to throw that force field up and protect your mind, heart, and soul.

If the mental or emotional abuse has gone beyond that to becoming physical, that's a whole other blog, but you've definitely got to put some distance between you and your abuser in order to work on your mind and get better.  A mental wall won't work in this instance.  You'll need to protect yourself physically first.

You have to see the feelings you are dealing with as an illness.  They do not define who you are.  This is just an "addiction" you are dealing with at the moment.  You have become accustomed to those feelings based on your circumstances and now you need to heal and learn how to not feel this way any more.  It sounds simple but it's true.  You need to go to rehab in every sense of the experience.

It's hard to determine how long this process will take but I know from experience that it works a lot faster when you're exposing yourself on a regular basis to things and people that remind you who you REALLY are.  YOU ARE A QUEEN!

Watch Youtube videos encouraging your self-esteem, read blogs just like the one you're reading now, have conversations with people who can relate and encourage each other... and make sure that you tell yourself every day, out loud, in the mirror, that you are created perfectly for a purpose that only YOU can accomplish.

YOU ARE SPECIAL.  

YOU ARE DIFFERENT.  

YOU ARE A QUEEN!

PS.  If you're looking for a good place to start with this process, I encourage you to get a copy of Queen V. by Derrick Little.  Following along with this interactive workbook has definitely aided me in realizing my greatness and I want to share it with you in hopes it will help you as well.  If you experience feelings of worthlessness or low self-esteem, it is not something you should take lightly or disregard... YOU ARE GREAT & it's time you start living and walking in that GREATNESS!

Follow Queen V on Facebook!

Can You Hear the Cry of the Poor?

These last few weeks have been focused on Adrian and the circumstances surrounding his passing.  Almost daily, someone else whose life he had touched finds out that he is no longer with us and proclaims to me how they “can’t believe it”.

I can’t believe it either, but what’s even harder to believe is how long his lifeless body lay in the streets without anyone even noticing he was in trouble.  I keep thinking that if someone had responded to him sooner, maybe we would be celebrating his recovery right now rather than the end of his suffering through death.

The lack of empathy we as a society have for each other sickens me.  The entire situation is heart breaking.  Whether you knew Adrian personally or not, I am sure you would agree.

Regardless, as Adrian would have wanted, we remain encouraged and maintain our mission to encourage others to show concern for their fellow man. 

With just two more weeks before the big celebration in the park, I want to make sure that everyone understands the significance of this upcoming event.  We aren’t just commemorating a life lost or celebrating the amazing person Adrian was, we’re also thinking about the homeless individuals who suffer daily in the streets, many literally dying, yet so few even acknowledge their existence, let alone show them they are loved.  At "Adrian’s Celebration of Life", this is exactly what we plan to do.

Adrian, although homeless himself, made it his daily mission to help “the least of these”, even on days when all he had to give was a prayer and a word from God.

As I plan for this event, my thoughts are on what Adrian would want to happen, how he would feel about each part of this process, and how he would contribute, as he always had when we planned our weekly events in Hurt Park in the years past. 

Each time we make some significant progress or get some good news, I always look at his photo on the obituary in the visor of my car and say with a smile, “Look at that Adrian!  Did you see what God just did!”  And although I’m looking forward to seeing this entire celebration come together in honor of him, I’m not looking forward to being out there in Hurt Park without him.  I’m not looking forward to what that reality is going to feel like.

Many of the people participating in this event didn’t know Adrian personally but they have a heart to want to help and I’m so thankful for everyone who has committed themselves, their talent, and their time, to making this event a success.

I want to use this blog to acknowledge and thank everyone who is a part of the event so far!  As you look over this list, I hope that you too will strongly consider joining this occasion.  Everyone can play a part in some way!  Please do not turn a blind eye like the majority. 

 Proverbs 21:13  

“Whoever closes his ear to the cry of the poor will himself 

call out and not be answered.”

Dj Creshendo will be over the music department keeping our guests entertained!

Brutha War is performing LIVE some of his encouraging original singles!

Ignatius Hines will bless us with his saxophone melodies!

Jabias Mitchell AKA "Jabias Da Kidd" & his crew will represent for the youth who care about the homeless community and set an example for upcoming generations!

Pastor LaTarsha Holden, will be sharing from her own experiences how she won the fight against homelessness!  She's now a published Author & running for Atlanta City Council!

... And this is just the beginning!

To Sign Up to Perform or Speak EMAIL US!

Let's not forget about the organizations, churches, ministries & businesses
who are making this event possible...

  

If you church, organization or business would like to contribute by either setting up a table to distribute or making a donation please EMAIL US!

... and finally a HUGE THANK YOU 

to all of our 

AMAZING VOLUNTEERS & DONORS!!!

Gail Christopher
Catherine West
Gwen McGuire
LaTrice C. Scarlett
Kimberly Fennell
Tonya Renee
Deanna Flemming
Coretta Jones
Kimberly Neal

It's not too late to be a part of the festivities!  

By next week, we want this list to have TRIPLED in size!  

So CONTACT US if you would like to contribute in some way!

Plus don't forget to forward this to a friend & spread the word!

Are you going to die one day?

Everyone has that pivotal moment that causes them to really evaluate where they are in life.  When someone close to you passes away, especially, it causes you to come to the realization that life is much too short.

When was the last time you really took a look at your life and reevaluated your game plan based on how little time we each get?

As much as you plan and try to shape your life into what you want it to be, there are only a few things that are inevitable, and those things are bills and death.  We're all going to have some kind of bills and expenses, even those of us with very little possessions.  We all have to eat, and eventually every one of us is going to have to die, whether unexpectedly or of old age.  Of course, when referring to the inevitable, we all hope for the latter, but that isn't always the hand we're dealt.

Most of us who aren't quite in our elderly stages yet don't really think too much about dying.  I wonder why that is?  Everyone just walks around assuming nothing is going to happen to them between now and the time they're old and wrinkly on their death bed, but how often do unforeseen events occur that end lives much sooner than anyone had expected?

When it comes down to it, the truth is, we can all die at any given moment due to any given circumstance... and that is just a fact, however difficult it may be to accept.

I know my blog post sounds a bit morbid so far but bare with me, I do have a point.

Over the past couple of years I have really become interested in how to better plan for the inevitable and make sure that I leave my children with something to ensure that they will not have a financial burden placed upon them in the event of my death.  I've come to the realization, especially with Adrian's recent passing and my grandfather not too long before, someone is going to have to be responsible for my burial expenses.  That just isn't something you want your family to have to worry about at such a stressful time.

I've only recently learned that if no one takes on the responsibility, or you did not leave the funds to be able to cover that expense, you'll literally be thrown into a cardboard box and your loved ones will have exactly 15 minutes to commemorate the life you once lived, not a minute more, before you're put in the ground right next to someone else who couldn't afford a real funeral.  Heaven forbid your family want to have a gravestone or marker so that they can visit your resting place in the future.  They're going to need at least $600 just for that.

When you think about it, the most expensive thing most of us will ever do is die.

I'm not writing this blog to scare you or get you to think negatively.  On the contrary, I hope to encourage you to plan for this one event that we all will experience but so many of us fail to plan for.

The fact is that most of us, especially under age 50, do not have a life insurance policy or a Will, and until recently I didn't realize how scary that reality was.  I've taken steps to ensure that not only will my children not be left with the financial burden of funeral expenses, but will also have financial security for their future, and I'm teaching them the importance of this so that they too can plan for the future of their own children.


Isn't it about time that we start some family traditions that will be beneficial for generations to come?

I'm sure there are many things that as an adult you can say, "I wish someone had taught me about this when I was younger".  Things like the importance of credit, how to invest in stocks, 401k and savings plans... and of course having a Will and a life insurance.

That is what made me decide to get my life insurance license and now, not only is my own family covered, but I'm also helping other families plan ahead so that they don't have to suffer when they lose a loved one.  So many people don't even think that they can afford life insurance but honestly, none of us can afford not to have it.  For as little as the price you spend on fast food in a week, you can secure the financial future of your loved ones.

It's as simple as that yet for some reason we make it so complicated!

So now it's time to ask yourself what's most important to you!

If this is something you hadn't really thought about until now, or perhaps you had thought about it but never took the steps to obtain life insurance, you need to contact me right away!

Don't wait until it's too late!  Don't make the same mistake that THOUSANDS of people across the country make every single day!  Get yourself and your family covered so you don't have to regret not making this decision.  It should be easy!

CONTACT ME NOW!

God Will Use You Wherever You Are!

These past few weeks have been very strenuous to say the least.  I’m sure you read about the passing of my friend and father figure, Adrian Stevenson.  What you didn't know is that there was even more going on behind the scenes during that time than I even had the time to write about.

I'll never forget the day Adrian left this earth.  I had planned to come visit him again that Wednesday night because I didn't want the last time I saw him in that hospice to be the last time I saw him amongst the living.  Although I was still hoping and believing for a miracle, I knew the odds he had, and I understood that if it was God's will for Adrian’s time with us to come to an end I would have to prepare myself for that possibility as well.

When I got the call that morning warning me that he was having trouble breathing and we may not have much longer with him I asked to be put on speaker so that I could talk to him once more before it was too late.

Adrian was the type of person that would do anything for those he loved and I knew he loved me, and this organization, very much.  I knew that he was fighting hard, even after being removed from life support several days earlier.  I knew that it was very likely he was fighting so hard because he knew we wanted him to get better.  All we'd been saying to him is how we still wanted him here and didn't want to lose him, but we hadn't thought about the pain he's experienced here and the fact that he may very well want to let go.

I could hear him over the phone painfully gasping for precious air.  In those final moments, I told him that I understood if he was too tired and needed to go home to rest.  I made sure he knew that he’d taught us well and his work will not have been in vain.  I reassured him we would hold it down until we meet again.  I said my last goodbye to this incredible angel God had blessed us to know and I asked him to put in a good word for me with Jesus when he got to the other side.  

As hard as it was to do, I let Adrian go, knowing that he would be at peace and no longer homeless or suffering.  He took his final breath just minutes later.

As if this day wasn't difficult enough already, that very night I get a phone call from the Sherrif's Department claiming that there was a warrant out for my arrest and I needed to turn myself in immediately.  At first I thought this had to be a mistake but as I questioned the officer on the source of this "outstanding warrant" I was reminded how distractions often come as soon as we’ve made up our minds to give it our all and focus on what God has purposed us for.  With that in mind I thought to myself, “this doesn’t surprise me at all”.

It never fails, every time I regain my focus and am determined to change the world with my organization, it's like the floodgates of hell open up and I'm overwhelmed with everything that could possibly stunt my progress or even cause me to want to give up.

Can you relate? 

Without going into too much detail regarding these bogus charges; I want to make sure I get my point across and not go off on a tangent.  I will say that the officer basically told me that the only option I had to get rid of this outstanding warrant was to go to jail and be bailed out.  As I dug deeper with the help of various lawyers and friends I found out that these original allegations where much more serious than I'd thought and if I didn't get a lawyer to take care of it I could be looking at some serious time in prison. 

Although the thought of possibly missing years of my children's lives was excruciating, I knew that this was not a coincidence that it just happened to come up the day of Adrian's passing.  I don't believe in coincidence so I could only believe and rest assured that God was up to something.

After several hundred phone calls and finally securing a lawyer, I went down to the prison to do the inevitable.  I didn't want this warrant, no matter how ridiculous it may be, to be looming as I was trying to prepare for the funeral services that Adrian's family had entrusted me to assist with.  I wasn’t going to let anything interfere with Adrian’s service being everything we had in our power to make it, because he deserved the best.

I'd expected it would take a few hours to get processed and bailed out, but I didn't expect I'd come in first thing in the morning and not be free until later that night.  I'd expected to be surrounded by cold hard criminals, but what I didn't expect was a room full of hurting women... mothers, young adults, many very scared, worried--unsure of what was going to happen to them next.  Some admitted their crimes and poor judgment in their situation, others, like myself had no idea that a seemingly innocent act years ago would lead to where they were at the moment.

Once I was in the holding cell with about 30 other women, I realized very quickly that this day was not going to be anything like what I expected.  Despite my own circumstance I did what I do best and set aside my own problems to focus on the other hurt souls in the room.  I began to walk around and just ask God to use me in this situation. 

As I was compelled to talk to each individual, each time I did, she began to poor her heart out and share her pain with me.  I prayed with many of the women throughout the day.  Other's that I didn't have a chance to pray with heard my prayers so I'm sure they were still touched by it in some way.  I became excited, as what I had once thought would be an awful experience became the most amazing act of God I'd ever witnessed.

I entered the prison that day with a smile on my face because I was determined to trust God in the midst of it all.  I left with the same smile on my face that I'd walked in with, except this time it was saying, “Look what God has done!”

I’ll be honest, I hesitated to write my blog about this today.  Sometimes it’s hard to be an open book for fear of judgment and criticism, but we all have a testimony and this one in particular truly shows how God can use any situation or current circumstance to His Glory!  So I came to the conclusion, and I’ll say the same to you… your testimony can’t help anyone if you keep it to yourself.

That one day I spent in a holding cell was probably the best day I’d had since the first day I went out into the parks feeding and loving on the homeless.  It felt so good to be God’s useful vessel again and for what I thought would discourage me to have motivated me in such a way that I am on fire for God's purpose and plan.

I pray for each and every woman I met that day!  I pray that their situations got resolved, lessons where learned, mercy and grace was granted… I pray that they leave their cells soon and with a sense of redemption.  I pray that they know their worth and that they are so important that God saw fit to put me right where I needed to be just for them!

I will end by saying this… When you realize that your life is not your own and you become a living sacrifice, allowing and asking God to use you in every way, every day you are given, NOTHING CAN EVER HAPPEN TO YOU!  Everything that happens from this point on will happen FOR YOU, WITH YOU, AND BECAUSE OF YOU!  There is nothing that can go wrong because you understand that everything that God allows, even when it looks bad, if you allow Him, He will use it for your benefit and the benefit of those around you!

Adrian certainly understood this better than any of us.  As he wandered the streets a homeless man, many saw him as a prophet because he used his displacement on a daily basis to be a messenger of God, constantly spreading God's love, prayer & scripture.  He would often proclaim to us that he stood in need of nothing, but he was constantly grateful for every opportunity to preach, teach, and pray.  He saw his own situation as a position God ALLOWED him to be in rather than something that had happened to him.

So understand that YOU are blessed and highly favored!  Wherever you are, ask God, “how can I be of service even now, even in this”.  Let him work your mess out and it become the greatest thing that’s ever happened FOR you! 

NEWS UPDATE:

Adrian's "Celebration of Life" will be held on April 29th from 3pm-6pm in Hurt Park. Save the date & make plans to attend & show the community that we stand together for those hurting and in need!  We are calling all organizations, ministries, churches, volunteers, etc. to participate and/or donate.  Email thehomelesstour@gmail.com for more information or call (678) 709-8505.

You can also contribute by making a monetary contribution!

I Will No Longer Take You for Granted!

Last week Adrian, our devoted friend, father figure & devout disciple took his last breath with the promise that the organization that started it all and, in his words, "gave his life purpose", would not only continue our mission, but would now accomplish even greater feats than we ever had before.  I personally promised Adrian, during his final moments that we would do every thing from this point on in honor of him and would never give up.

Even on his death bed, Adrian did what he has always done best and brought this organization together to pray for a miracle and believe in our higher purpose again.  Each of the directors of this organization sat aside whatever we had going on in our lives and rushed to be by his side.

We each felt our own sense of guilt for the fact that one of our most faithful was suffering after years of having suffered enough.  It was a devastating realization that we never really had the chance to end his homelessness.  He'd been homeless all these years and here he was dying, still in the same condition he was in when we first encountered him; and even though he says we changed his life for the better, I can't help but wish we could have done more.  I can't help but feel a sense of defeat and failure in many ways.

Although Adrian is no longer with us in the flesh, there is a strong sense that he is watching over this organization and as we proceed with plans to come back strong, we feel he is still protecting us as he always did.  It is because of him we have returned to our cause.  He helped reignite the fire in our hearts that had never really went out but needed to be stirred up so that we could fight!

I guess I never realized how much I took for granted the life that Adrian gave The Homeless Tour.  He was one of those people, like so many in our lives, who I thought of as always being there and always will be.  Now that he's gone I realize how much I never would have imagined not having him there.  It's one of those things that really makes you think about how important the people around you are and so I wanted to take a moment to really focus on those people, particularly the ones who make this organization what it is.  Our directors.

Each of the directors of FTHT brings a different quality to the table, not only for the organization as a whole, but for me personally as well.  I honestly wouldn't be able to lead this organization without the vitality that each of them supply.

Robin Duvall, our Assistant Director, has been my back bone since she discovered this naive individual out there trying to change the world one heart at a time.  Unsure in her observation, she was puzzled because, as she says, she'd "never seen anyone with a heart like mine".  I guess her astonished perplexity became a curiosity that got the best of her because she's been the "big heart" of this organization since.

She monitored as I'd give everything down to the clothes off my back or shoes from my feet and she quickly recognized my weaknesses and took it upon herself to help me be strong in those areas.  When I was crying and beating myself up because I "just couldn't do enough", she was strong and told me how amazing, incredible, super, magnificent (and all those Robin words) that the things I was doing and who I am really were.  She's always helped me look at things realistically rather than worrying and she helps me find confidence where I feel incapable.

Robin loves people without thinking and she hugs everyone and tells EVERYONE she loves them just to make sure they know that someone does.  In many ways, she's been who I've looked up to for strength and I often wonder, "does she EVER get weak".  She's the epitome of a supermom if I've ever seen it.  She truly embodies what it means to "LOVE LIKE JESUS"

.

Gail Christopher, another of my brilliant directors, has been there since I don't remember when.  Not only is she one of those people I could never imagine not being there, but I honestly don't remember what it was like before she was there.  It's as though she's just always been.

Gail is my joy and happy place.  It gets hard dealing with everyone's sadness and attempting to carry their burdens on my own shoulders, but Gail is always there to put a smile back on my face.  She gives me a chance to cry, vent, release, and all the things that are natural with this type of responsibility, and then she helps me shake it off and get back on track with a laugh and a refreshing look at the bright side that she always provides in any situation.  In the same way I wonder how Robin is always so strong, I wonder how in the world Gail can always be so happy.  I love her for the enthusiasm and optimism she brings into the darkest places we often visit.

She's my "the party doesn't start until she gets here" woman, and I've often found myself in a state of cluelessness as to what to do if she hasn't yet arrived on the scene.  She makes what can seem to me like an overwhelming circumstance feel like a walk in the park, so it happens often that I don't even want to move until I know she's there to make the journey more of a pleasant stroll than an obstacle course.

Catherine West is the sane one of us directors to say the least.  Catherine's heart is just as big as any of ours but I've often wondered how she manages to hold it all together with such poise and grace.  She's the one I call on to pray, not only because she's an incredible prayer warrior and woman of God, but sometimes it's because she seems to be the most composed when emotions run high.  So easily she seems to find the perfect words to say when everyone else is speechless.  Her prayers stem from a place of concern for all and yet her wisdom and discernment is like an instructional booklet giving her directions for exactly what to pray for.

Catherine is the one I can go to who I know will help me make sense of it all.  When I'm seeking direction, she'll give me just the confirmation I needed right on time and effortlessly as if she just had it tucked away somewhere in her back pocket waiting for me to ask for it.

While Robin will get me excited and motivated, Gail will keep me positive and believing in the possibilities as I go, Catherine will give me proof through scripture and a word from God as a steady reminder of His promise so I can't give up.  All three of these ladies are like the recipe God provided for me to handle the calling He has clearly placed on my life and I am forever grateful!

These are the few that have remained steadfast from the beginning and despite our individual trials and journeys, which Lord knows have come, have clearly not left this organization's side.  I am personally incomplete without these ladies and there would be no FTHT if it wasn't for them.

There are a lot more people who I owe the success of this organization to.  Many of them have come and gone.  Some have moved on with the next purpose God has for them, some allowed confusion that's bound to come into anything that is good to get in their way and make them feel divided from our organization, unable to see that we have not changed and still love them the same.  Whoever comes along, and for however long their season may be with us, they are now and will always be appreciated.

I will no longer take for granted each individual that makes up the whole of FTHT.  Each and every volunteer, donor, supporter, encourager... whatever your role is, was, or will be, you are loved and appreciated for the part you play in our lives and the life of our organization.

To find out how you can contribute to our organization's growth, email us at thehomelesstour@gmail.com or call (678) 709-8505!

Is There Blood on Your Hands?

There are certain people who enter our lives on occasion and impact it in ways we can never forget.  Adrian C. Stevenson is one of those people.  In fact, it's very likely that if you work, live, or have even walked in downtown Atlanta at any point, Adrian may have impacted your life in some way too.

He's always walking the city helping people; giving directions, sharing encouragement or a word from the Bible, and looking out for people less fortunate.  He became the "Chief of Security" for The Feed the Homeless Tour shortly after insisting on volunteering with us and maintaining order at each of our gatherings on a regular basis.

For years he's lead our prayers in Hurt Park, and while we'd feed the people physically, he'd begin to preach and feed their souls.  He often gave up his own umbrella to someone standing in the pouring rain... while all this time his backpack and it's contents being his only earthly possessions.

Adrian is homeless.

Right now he is laying in the hospital, recently removed from the life support that's kept him here the past three weeks and currently breathing on his own.  I only learned of this news late Sunday night after his distant cousin and the hospital nurses came together to hunt down the organization that Adrian was always raving about.  It was a miracle they found us after changes in numbers, our directors moving to various cities and states, the official headquarters in Tucker being torn down... Obviously God intended for them to find us so that we can be there by his side to support him as he's always done for us.

I write my blog this morning, instead of the usual Monday, only because after getting home late from visiting him I was physically and emotionally drained.  I know if he could speak to me right now he'd say the same thing he used to say every Monday when I used every ounce of my will power to ensure that hundreds of people in Hurt Park got fed and provided for no matter what.  Often times I was exhausted, struggling, broke... whatever it was that burdened me at the time, I'd fight through because my people depended on me and I couldn't let them down.  This blog is my Monday's at the moment so I felt the same way last night as I struggled through my tears and trembling to write no matter what.

As midnight quickly approached I could hear Adrian saying, "Stop crying. You know I can't stand to see my daughter cry."

Then as soon as I straightened up he'd say, "You need to get some rest.  This can wait until tomorrow.  You've got to take care of yourself."

My other directors of FTHT, Robin, Catherine, and Gail, would then agree and reprimand me the same, then they'd confiscate my laptop and force me to sleep because they know I'd continue to pressure myself to the point of physically debilitating exhaustion.  So last night I did exactly what Adrian would have wanted and rested so that I can write my blog this morning with vigor.

With all the information that has been revealed to me in just the last 24 hours, I have so much to say I'm having a hard time condensing it into just one blog.  Obviously I am distraught, as are the other directors of FTHT.  We hate seeing Adrian in this state when we are used to him being a joy and strength to all of us.  We want to believe in a miracle for him because that's exactly what he'd be preaching on right now if he was out there in the park.

"John 11:38-44 says...  Jesus, once more deeply moved, came to the tomb. It was a cave with a stone laid across the entrance.  “Take away the stone,” he said.  

“But, Lord,” said Martha, the sister of the dead man, “by this time there is a bad odor, for he has been there four days.”

Then Jesus said, “Did I not tell you that if you believe, you will see the glory of God?”

So they took away the stone. Then Jesus looked up and said, “Father, I thank you that you have heard me.  I knew that you always hear me, but I said this for the benefit of the people standing here, that they may believe that you sent me.”

When he had said this, Jesus called in a loud voice, “Lazarus, come out!”  The dead man came out, his hands and feet wrapped with strips of linen, and a cloth around his face.

Jesus said to them, “Take off the grave clothes and let him go.”"

This is what Adrian would proclaim without a shadow of a doubt as if this situation just took place yesterday and he was there.  It's always amazed me how he believed so surely, almost like he was an angel rather than a doubting human like the rest of us.  He is the reason our organization grew stronger and believed that even bigger, more impossible things were truly possible.  

He is the reason that every time we thought we didn't have enough food to feed the growing crowds, he would hold up the food and pray before we began distributing, "Father you multiplied the loaves and fishes to feed thousands so do the same here today!", again as if he just witnessed this the other day, and every single time we'd feed everyone and have plenty left over.  

Adrian was our miracle worker and now we wait in expectancy, trying to have at least "the faith of a mustard seed" but remembering that we are talking about a man who had the faith of 5 BILLION MUSTARD SEEDS!

 

Aside from the obvious hurt of seeing this great man at this low point in life, the thought that he has been there all this time alone is even more heartbreaking.  Once his distant cousin eventually got word of his condition, although she didn't know him very well, she chose to stay by his side.  His daughter received the news and, as is the case with many homeless men, wanted nothing to do with it.

We, The Feed the Homeless Tour, are probably his closest living relatives.  He always did call me his daughter and he is every bit a father to me.  For a man who has been such a blessing to so many lives, to be homeless and now, on what could very well be his death bed, to not be surrounded by tons of people who love him is mind boggling.

After the details were revealed to me of him being found alone on the street, soaked from sitting out in the rain for what may have been days... Not only having people pass him by time and time again but to add insult to injury, someone even had the audacity to take his wallet (which I know he always had on him along with his phone)... These gruesome details take me from being heartbroken to a new level of outrage toward my fellow human.

I've used this anger over the years at the fact that most people not only don't care about the homeless, but many even choose to ignore them, and I've let it fuel everything I've done from founding FTHT to my stage production "The Face of Homeless".  My objective, in addition to changing this outrageous situation in the world, has also been to raise awareness and hopefully cause people to look inside themselves and evaluate whether or not they too fall into this majority of the selfish, inconsiderate population in our country, and encourage them to change their hearts and begin to spread this revolution until everyone is affected and it can no longer be ignored.

To think that this ignored man who always had a smile and encouraging word could be literally walked over for days while he laid there dying absolutely disgusts me!  There are people downtown right now with blood on their hands who don't even realize it because they are so used to being oblivious to the needs of others!

On a more positive note, this situation has done one thing we can all be thankful for, and that is bringing our organization back together because of the love we all share for Adrian.

Over the past couple of years, as each of the directors has experienced their share of setbacks and life changes, we've struggled to keep what's left of our mission afloat, focusing more on the stage production and spreading the word through our various gifts and talents in hopes that funding would ensue as a result so that we could REALLY help the people in ways we weren't able to before.

Despite no longer being able to make the commitment to Hurt Park every Monday, we've kept the dream alive and focused on this bigger purpose, determined to take a wiser approach.  We've advisedly taken a step back to reevaluate, and begin laying a new, firmer foundation to accomplish what we had originally set out to do.

Inevitably I'm consumed by guilt for not being there for Adrian and the rest of my people out there as I had promised.  I told them once that death was the only thing that could keep me from coming back, and here I am well alive yet unable to keep that promise at the moment.  Especially during this trying time, I feel like I've let them down... I've let Adrian down.

I know he wouldn't want me to take any of the blame as I customarily do.  He'd know I haven't forgotten where we are going and what we're going to accomplish in this arena.  He'd encourage me to focus on what must be done and keep pressing forward until I'm able to create a more significant change for the people.  He'd encourage me never to give up on the vision.

Although our flame has never went out, coming together for Adrian the way we have and hearing about how FTHT gave his life purpose, how we are his family... Seeing someone who they said was unresponsive make eye contact with me, begin breathing heavier, and a tear roll down his face... this just doused our flame with lighter fluid and we can each feel it spreading like a wildfire!

I can't even begin to explain to you the things we're about to accomplish because of Adrian once again bringing us all together and inspiring us as he always has... I can only say, watch and see!  As much as FTHT was able to accomplish in the past, even without having much ourselves... I'll just say this...

You ain't seen nothing yet!

    

Please continue to pray for Adrian!  Despite what it may look like, we believe in the God who Adrian preached about... He's a miracle worker & He's working one RIGHT NOW!  #Pray4Adrian #RiseUp



UPDATE:  

ADRIAN CALVIN STEVENSON went to be with our Father in Heaven on Wednesday 3/22/2017.  He is no longer homeless or hurting!  Adrian deserves to have his life celebrated!  So please, stay tuned for further details of the events that will be held in his honor & share this blog so that everyone who knows him can make arrangements to be a part of his homegoing celebration!

Viewing & Visitation, 6-8pm Wednesday March 29th 2017 

MURRAY BROTHERS FUNERAL HOME CASCADE CHAPEL 

1199 UTOY SPRINGS RD, SW 

ATLANTA, GA 30331 

Telephone (404) 349-3000 

Burial Ceremony, Thursday March 30th, 2017 @ 10am 

LAKESIDE MEMORIAL GARDENS

7780 ONO RD.

PALMETTO, GA 30268

"CELEBRATION OF LIFE"

We hope that everyone, especially those who could not make it to the previous services for Adrian, make plans to attend this event!  (See flyer for details)

We are currently seeking artists who would like to perform at this event.

Also if any of you would like to help with the planning of this event, or contribute in some way, please email us at thehomelesstour@gmail.com or call 678-709-8505!

You can also make a financial contribution by clicking the link below.

Funds will be used for obituaries, a headstone & the Celebration of Life event.
Thank you in advance!